Thea and Astris venture to a strange place, even by their standerds. Things with Thea get a little handsy.
Cap:
[0:00] Hello, and welcome to Slash and Fuck, a stupid sexy D&D podcast. As the title suggests, we are a mature podcast and we'll be dealing with adult themes and content as our story unfolds. Since you're here, I want to thank you for starting this journey with us, and we hope you enjoy your stay. So without further ado, let's slip into something a little more comfortable.
Dylan:
[0:37] Welcome back to slash and fuck how's everybody feeling frisky.
Cap:
[0:43] Feeling good feeling scared.
Dylan:
[0:46] Yeah good good where we last left off uh you were rushed through the catacombs into the heart of the prominence where rocks was taken to get treated you were taken to be treated and were attended to and were able to rest uh in the night uh each of you had dreams thea you had a dream of oberon and a diary writing to you and someone else was there too writing in the diary doing little flirtatious addendums to everything he wrote being.
Cap:
[1:28] The funniest bitch in the room.
Dylan:
[1:29] Yeah just has to be yeah and you grew in power that night and got to bring the diary into the real world and asterisk you too had a dream but it was uh you learned in the power of your own blood as a means of healing or curing the taint.
Crit:
[1:54] Not the taint.
Cap:
[1:55] Not the taint.
Dylan:
[1:56] Yeah. Which is good news because, you know, nobody really knows what to do.
Crit:
[2:01] No one knows what to do with the taint.
Dylan:
[2:03] Yeah.
Crit:
[2:04] Until now.
Dylan:
[2:06] Upon awakening, Asteris and Theo were both very determined to see rocks because they wanted to heal him. And were stopped and told to go see the Wise Master first thing. Upon meeting the Wise Master, your guard was up at first. But after speaking to them for a time, you realize that they're an ally and not just a high-handed deity trying to control your fate.
Cap:
[2:34] But they're here to hang.
Dylan:
[2:35] Right.
Crit:
[2:36] Hell yeah.
Dylan:
[2:37] And they're more of a primordial being, you know, something you can, for some reason, relate to more than God. They told you that they can take you into the realm of shadows or dreams or something where Rox is being tormented by the Smiler. And you have the means to heal him, but you would need some tainted flesh to get there. And thankfully, you guys had a leg.
Cap:
[3:08] Asterisk, get the leg.
Dylan:
[3:11] Had a leg ready.
Crit:
[3:14] Got some taint on me at all times.
Dylan:
[3:16] The living flame took the tribute slash sacrifice and, you know, lowered himself into the steel a la Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator 2.
Cap:
[3:27] Thumbs up, buddy.
Dylan:
[3:28] That's right. only this time uh steel or the uh the molten lava the plasma everything that the living flame was residing in turned into a black and gray and cloudy portal that you all dove into foolishly same say because it killed you instantly why you're jumping into portals like that lesson learned right i.
Crit:
[3:53] Didn't draw a new character.
Dylan:
[3:55] So you dove into the swirling vortex we.
Cap:
[4:00] Sure did buddy.
Dylan:
[4:04] You dive and and.
Crit:
[4:07] We were holding hands.
Dylan:
[4:08] You were holding hands yeah and it doesn't at first it feels like you're falling like normal um but then it you know you feel like you would start to tumble a bit you know back and forward but it just nose dives straight in like you're being pulled faster and faster um fun yeah like a drain you can feel the pressure of the blood rushing to your face you can feel it rushing to your hands your hands are outstretched in front of you as you're all holding hands and uh king floof looks ridiculous all the fat is up by his neck right now and it's little little back legs are a lot like skinnier than you'd think um and he looks really put out.
Cap:
[4:51] Yeah he's like by god damn it they jumped in the fucking hole.
Dylan:
[4:54] That's right.
Cap:
[4:55] What you get for sleeping in my backpack buddy.
Dylan:
[5:00] It's so warm, though. There's all these really nice, silky things in there and, like, really comfy.
Cap:
[5:05] And I feel like Thea's ambiently quite warm.
Crit:
[5:08] Yeah, I was about to say, I bet Thea's back is really warm.
Cap:
[5:10] Yeah, she's so nice. She's a little heater.
Dylan:
[5:15] Just as it feels like this is going to be too much and your eyeballs are going to pop out of your head, you land on your feet. and it's very jarring and nauseating for a moment as if you feel like you landed on a ceiling and then the whole room flopped over to put you in the right side up.
Cap:
[5:35] Oh, I hated that.
Crit:
[5:37] Can I roll to not throw up?
Dylan:
[5:39] I mean, you're not throwing up currently, but you sure can if you want.
Crit:
[5:43] Yeah.
Dylan:
[5:44] If you roll a one, you're going to be throwing up.
Crit:
[5:46] But see, I kind of want to throw up.
Dylan:
[5:47] Yeah. Yeah, it's a save, so it's the only one you can feel on a one. Is that a one?
Crit:
[5:54] No, that's a seven.
Dylan:
[5:55] That's a seven. You're lucky. You didn't throw up.
Cap:
[5:59] Close, though.
Dylan:
[6:00] Yeah, you feel nauseated just for a moment, and your vision and your equilibrium is off. You know, just a quick slap of vertigo before you take in the surroundings. A completely flat landscape surrounds you. The ground is covered in small rocks shaped around as by water the sky above you seems to be lit with storm clouds perpetually and it feels like it's gonna rain but you don't see a drop of water there doesn't seem to be a sun here but.
Cap:
[6:40] There's like a light source.
Dylan:
[6:41] The storm clouds okay.
Cap:
[6:43] But there it's there's there is light.
Dylan:
[6:45] I suppose.
Cap:
[6:45] I mean to say okay.
Dylan:
[6:46] Yeah you look great in this lighting, it's not like moonlight you know because it's not direct but it's like this ambient you know storm you know lightning through the through the dark clouds like yeah you look great beautiful the rocks around you that you notice uh make walking difficult this is hostile terrain to just be in you can't really get purchase there's there's space just far apart that you You can't really step on two of them at a time. They're slippery in a way, but not slimy. You don't know why. You can't really get a grip. And the last thing that you notice descending into this place is you hear the wind, but you don't feel it.
Cap:
[7:32] Ah, interesting.
Crit:
[7:35] Astris knows how to do this, and I don't. So she licks her finger and puts it up and is just confused.
Dylan:
[7:42] You want to roll a survival?
Crit:
[7:43] Yeah.
Dylan:
[7:46] 11 survival 11 wow not bad yeah this is uh unlike any place you've ever been so you feel kind of lost this is um you know there's not really a a temperature but it feels cold it's just in between things like being able to sense the rain in the air and it not not being there so.
Cap:
[8:11] It just like perpetually feels like that's like got that like that ozone smell that like happens right before a thunderstorm but just like perpetually it's kind of heaven for me.
Dylan:
[8:22] It is a nice yeah i mean when i was writing it it was all horror and then i read it back and i was like it's kind of nice actually but.
Crit:
[8:31] It feels like something's about to happen like yeah.
Dylan:
[8:33] I enjoy.
Cap:
[8:33] Like it's just constant tension it's like it never breaks and that's the agony of it.
Dylan:
[8:38] That's that's what you feel. It is constantly something that doesn't come. And I imagine you take stock of your surroundings for a minute. King Floof is looking around in all directions. His ears are going in all directions. Doesn't like the storm clouds. You haven't heard any thunder, but you You just see the lightning rolling through the clouds above them and through them, but never defined.
Crit:
[9:11] Where are we? Did the living flame tell us where we were going? I didn't think so, right? This was just kind of...
Cap:
[9:20] Yeah. Who's to really even know if the living flame knew what was going to be on the other side of this? some sort of different realm somewhere between the smiling man's domain and dreams and everything gets all wiggly in that domain so it's possible it changes maybe this is hell specifically for us well.
Dylan:
[9:43] You have experience being kind of in between places when you were in the feywilds you mainly took paths, got nudged towards paths that kept you in between each square section on the chessboard. It was wild and weird and things were ever changing, but rolled with it pretty well. This doesn't look like, so far it doesn't seem like it's going to suddenly look different if you walk, you know, 10 feet, but it has that familiar taste, I guess, of being somewhere else somewhere different, not here, not there.
Cap:
[10:26] I squeeze my boobies around the idol, and I'm like, do you work here? Tell me where to go. Daddy, help. I'm so far away from home, and I'm really scared.
Dylan:
[10:39] So are you asking for Oberon's help right now?
Cap:
[10:43] Yeah, guidance. Be like, please, please guide me the right way.
Dylan:
[10:48] Okay, are you asking desperately, or you said you were pressing your tits together. are you like kind of like asking daddy uh.
Cap:
[10:57] It's more i envisioned it more like like a prayer sort of thing more like hey please if you're listening i don't know what way to go.
Dylan:
[11:06] Yeah just roll uh your charisma.
Cap:
[11:08] Okay okay okay that's a 15 plus 4 so 19 yeah 19 wait so that would make it a 6 so 21 All right.
Dylan:
[11:19] I just so happen to have a note here. I think I should try that.
Cap:
[11:23] Right? It's like something that I have in my back pocket, but doesn't feel like should be used lightly. I'm not trying to use daddy like a GPS.
Dylan:
[11:31] Right. And you rolled exceedingly high. So it's hard to ignore that.
Cap:
[11:36] Prisma!
Dylan:
[11:38] So I was going to say, though, the nature of the request would be like, you know, it could be a persuasion roll or a performance because that's how you roll. and that's what that's why he likes you so the dramatics if you're gonna you know oh no oh my god you know where do i even go i'm just so hot and lost you know that kind of thing might might appreciate it or um your instrument too uh lots of ways to call to him you have your diary as well that's.
Cap:
[12:07] True all right so i feel like with a 21 i want to sort of get out my instrument and just pluck lightly and like daddy which way do i go.
Dylan:
[12:22] Sing a little song um i'm.
Cap:
[12:26] Gonna cut that.
Dylan:
[12:27] All you no you better damn well not oh.
Cap:
[12:30] It was so bad though.
Dylan:
[12:31] No it was not so better you better keep that when you go to play your instrument which plays generally twice as loud as any other instrument you only get the second note and the last note and it was very muted so i was like, And it's haunting because it seems like it just got sucked away on the wind that you can't feel.
Cap:
[12:54] Interesting.
Dylan:
[12:55] But the two notes do go somewhere. And as you look around looking for a sign waiting, you feel just the barest presence of rocks on the slightest summer breeze that passes under your neck and passes from behind you and forward to where you're looking right when your head gets to a side. certain point so it seems like that's the direction you should go.
Cap:
[13:22] Asterisk i think it's this way so.
Crit:
[13:24] Yeah let's go.
Dylan:
[13:25] Yeah you saw her hair like kind of pick up a little bit and you're like yeah that way ah.
Cap:
[13:30] Wind she's doing magical girl lead the way.
Dylan:
[13:34] Yeah all.
Crit:
[13:35] Right i'll take up the rear.
Dylan:
[13:37] So as i said this is difficult terrain um you are walking at whatever the rules say nowadays um used to be half speed i.
Cap:
[13:46] Think it is half speed it's.
Crit:
[13:47] Gotta be that.
Dylan:
[13:48] Sucks you're using you're having to use all the muscles in your feet and your shins that you don't normally use uh it's exhausting i'm.
Cap:
[13:56] Too pretty for this.
Dylan:
[13:58] King floof is scrambling around he can't get purchase on anything so you just hear his tone his little claws like scratching and little.
Cap:
[14:07] Buddy can i get him up on my shoulder yeah.
Dylan:
[14:09] Yeah yeah and you're like here here and you lean you lean over he like turns around and frantically climbs his way up your arm and your shoulder uh tearing into your to your skin you know he's his eyes are all huge and his ears are non-existent they're flat and he's all puffy but he makes it onto your back and you take one point of non-lethal damage okay.
Cap:
[14:32] He can nuzzle up in my hair. It's very big and I'm sure he can get cozy in there.
Dylan:
[14:38] Yeah, he does. He just goes there to his safe place.
Cap:
[14:42] Little buddy.
Dylan:
[14:43] You can feel his tail like wrapped around your neck.
Cap:
[14:48] Thea's hair is like hammer space.
Crit:
[14:50] Yeah.
Dylan:
[14:52] As you venture it feels like you're walking for an entire day every once in a while king floof will come out he seemed to have calmed down a bit but he'll peek around and look around and just seems utterly spooked by this place but he's taking it in he's not a you know just hiding completely like good boy the attendants don't really like to be out either um they are hiding yeah.
Cap:
[15:19] They should get in the prinkle can it's dangerous.
Dylan:
[15:20] For them out here and uh yeah i mean you guys end up having to spend a lot of time just walking in a particular direction in this very tense just dramatic feeling place uh that never really lets tension go like.
Crit:
[15:37] It feels like we're about to get there.
Cap:
[15:39] For every time we never do oh never mind this is hell i hate that it's like the airport.
Dylan:
[15:47] Yeah like sometimes you'll see what looks like on the horizon something that's poking over the horizon that's finally going to give shape but it was just a bigger rounded rock mother fucker, eventually though you do see something that is pointed at the top and i imagine everybody's looking at each other making sure they're all seeing the same thing y'all.
Cap:
[16:09] Seeing this we're all seeing this we all see the pointy thing point pointed point yeah right there oh.
Crit:
[16:16] I'm so tired of walking.
Cap:
[16:17] Oh my god i fucking hate this place asterisk when me and asterisk speak are we at normal volume to each other or does this place like eat sound.
Dylan:
[16:25] You can speak to each other it uh it only sounds like you're speaking into the wind uh so you have to be real close or okay you know raise your voice your instrument seemed like something else like it was intentionally muted Okay.
Cap:
[16:39] I was wondering. Cool.
Crit:
[16:41] What a fucking bitch. Turns her amp off.
Cap:
[16:44] They can't fucking stop me, though.
Dylan:
[16:47] As you approach, the point on the horizon takes shape. It's shadowed right now, but it looks like an elongated, stretched diamond floating like an obelisk. And it seems to slowly rotate counterclockwise.
Cap:
[17:05] Does it look like the thing that was in the chamber that Go-Gurt sort of took over? Do we think this is a node?
Dylan:
[17:14] This, the only thing you really saw from the node in the inner sanctum was a little pyramid that was, you know, maybe a foot high. But maybe.
Cap:
[17:25] Okay.
Dylan:
[17:26] It does remind you of that. It gives you that similar vibe. And as you get closer, you think that if it was a node, it's a node that has been pulled up and it looks like it had been melted and just completely stretched as thin as it possibly could. Just tortured diamonds.
Cap:
[17:45] So this node has been desecrated and forced into a shape that it ought not be in.
Crit:
[17:51] Oh, no. Oh, node.
Cap:
[17:54] Dork.
Dylan:
[17:55] Sorry. There are facets on the diamond and each side will have a jagged crescent moon that you recognize of the smiler as if it's reflecting the moon above you or behind you. And it shifts in a way that you also recognize like it knows you're there.
Crit:
[18:16] Don't like that.
Cap:
[18:17] Nope, not a fan. It looks back.
Crit:
[18:19] Yeah, what the fuck?
Dylan:
[18:22] So how close do you want to get to this thing? what do you want to do on approach etc don't i don't want to like start railroading what you're doing it's like i wouldn't be that close yeah.
Cap:
[18:31] Real we're real we.
Crit:
[18:32] Carefully go up.
Cap:
[18:33] Yeah i think we're gonna i'm gonna so king floof is in my hair and i'm gonna look back at him and sort of be like hey buddy we're gonna go closer to that thing if you want to get off now's the time yeah.
Dylan:
[18:45] He stays on yeah we.
Cap:
[18:47] We a magical girl up on approach and we'll go investigate this poor tortured millennium crystal ah yes.
Dylan:
[18:56] You hold hands and at your feet blossoms and dies instantly vines that grow without any leaves trailing it is a growing puddle of blood climbing along the brown vines as they wrap around the both of you not as energetically or forcefully as you've ever seen this takes work But they both wrap around you and pull free, leaving you fully dressed and ready for battle in an awesome pose.
Cap:
[19:26] Yeah.
Crit:
[19:28] Yeah, I'm shooting finger guns. That's my awesome pose.
Cap:
[19:32] I'm leaning sexily against Asteris.
Dylan:
[19:35] Yeah, and King Floof is off to the side with his hair straight up in the air during that pose.
Crit:
[19:41] Oh, man. Okay, if you're doing the sexy lean, then I take it all back. I got to have my sword out, and I'm like the romance cover novel guy.
Cap:
[19:49] Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Dylan:
[19:51] Upon donning your outfits and striking a menacing pose, You feel a thrum through the earth as the diamond pulses a sickly yellow and green streak through the jagged crescents into your black diamond. It thrums at a rhythm that rises. It almost feels like it's pushing you back, but the sound draws you in. And Thea, you don't need to make a roll, but this seems like it is rising to a crescendo here. i would say you have about six seconds to prepare for it you know for the beat to drop, i
Cap:
[20:39] Would like to don my armor of oberon i will put that on.
Dylan:
[20:46] All right um.
Cap:
[20:47] And that will increase my hit points and shit.
Crit:
[20:50] I don't feel like having a shield out is gonna help uh so i'll have my shield out.
Dylan:
[20:58] Nice and are you guys kind of still approaching like trying to get to it.
Crit:
[21:05] That seems like the thing so right it just continues to look like an obelisk there's not like stuff in front of it anything as we get closer.
Dylan:
[21:14] No it's just floating over that same kind of rocky field that you've been walking how.
Crit:
[21:20] High up is it floating.
Dylan:
[21:22] It is floating about four feet like the very bottom point of it is four feet off the ground okay.
Crit:
[21:29] So i could.
Cap:
[21:30] Kick it or something i would like to hang back just slightly farther so that if something happens i can blast it.
Dylan:
[21:40] Okay and asterisks are you charging it or are you staying back.
Crit:
[21:46] I want to get within 30 feet of it and see what happens.
Dylan:
[21:50] All right you.
Crit:
[21:51] Know as much as i can.
Dylan:
[21:52] Then you just gotta get in range, delay It thrums faster and faster And the ambient tension rises to a crescendo Before you see the crystal pulse one time Sickeningly as if this light is being pushed through veins That it created, that it's worming through this crystal Ew!
Crit:
[22:18] Oh, no, I do want to get close to it.
Dylan:
[22:21] And as it reaches its crescendo, you see something come flying out from underneath it in a vortex. It looks like bats. And they are flying wildly and floppily and weirdly around. And you see a glint in some of the light, the green and yellow light from the obelisk. They're just rows and rows of teeth as they fly up over the crystal in one group and then swarm downward towards Asterisk as they swoop in.
Cap:
[22:58] I want to blast them.
Dylan:
[22:59] Let's roll initiative. Initiative.
Cap:
[23:03] Seven initiative.
Crit:
[23:05] A dirty 20.
Cap:
[23:06] Nice.
Dylan:
[23:07] All right. Well, you still both go before I do.
Cap:
[23:10] Wow.
Crit:
[23:12] That's right. Slow bats.
Cap:
[23:14] We take that.
Dylan:
[23:14] So, bats Asterisk, you get a good look at it first They seem kind of like bats That's what your mind first came up with When you saw them As they start to fly towards you You realize they don't have wings They're just big, jagged, toothy smiles and frowns That come flopping at you As if from behind some kind of curtain Fucking smiler bats?
Cap:
[23:40] Fuck off!
Dylan:
[23:41] You hear an obnoxious screeching in your ears, a tinnitus, but a lower pitch, so even more annoying and more encompassing in your head, the squeal of a mosquito in your ear, both of them, just as they get closer. So, Asterisk, you get to go first.
Crit:
[24:00] How far away are these bats? Or what is it? These facial expressions.
Dylan:
[24:06] These facial expressions. We can call them bats for now. They are moving towards you. And if you were to just wait or, like, ready in action, they would reach you this round.
Crit:
[24:19] Okay. I want to ask if the obelisk diamond, if it looks diseased, would you say?
Dylan:
[24:26] Yeah, it looks all fucked up. It looks tainted and smilery and gross.
Crit:
[24:31] Great.
Dylan:
[24:32] Just taking a glance back at it, the pulse has died down, but the light that pushed new wormways into the crystal left behind a goo that's been seeping back down from where it came.
Crit:
[24:46] God, Christ.
Cap:
[24:47] Why is he so goopy? Like a bad way.
Crit:
[24:53] Too.
Cap:
[24:53] Yeah, goopy bad.
Crit:
[24:55] Goopy bad.
Dylan:
[24:55] And it's still.
Crit:
[24:57] Um difficult terrain.
Dylan:
[24:59] Yes it is.
Crit:
[25:00] Damn so if i dashed i could go 30 feet to the crystal.
Dylan:
[25:04] Yeah okay but you would meet the bats that's fine or you just want to run right through them yeah.
Crit:
[25:11] Fuck the bats.
Dylan:
[25:12] All right so uh you can't like attack and run because that's you're already double moving yeah.
Crit:
[25:18] I'm just i just want to go over there and i'll distract the bats.
Dylan:
[25:21] And okay so you You have your shield out and you're just going to run straight through them, leaving poor Thea to her own devices.
Crit:
[25:29] Don't say it like that.
Cap:
[25:31] I'm ranged, darling. This is how we do it.
Dylan:
[25:34] Yeah. Now, Thea, you see Asterisk running through like a bowling ball towards the bats. And you're like, okay.
Cap:
[25:41] Ah, she's doing her Asterisk thing. All is right.
Dylan:
[25:44] Okay. So you're going to take a bit of attacks here.
Crit:
[25:48] Good. Good.
Cap:
[25:49] I want them. Thank you.
Dylan:
[25:53] Does a 22 hit you?
Crit:
[25:56] I think my 21 is with a shield, so yes.
Dylan:
[26:00] All right. You can take 10 points of damage.
Crit:
[26:02] Fine.
Dylan:
[26:04] One of the, you know, most of them, they immediately swarmed you, and they were all gnawing and pounding into your shield, and some were, you know, trying to bite through your armor, and you're just shaking them off, and, you know, it's kind of freaky. You know? You know, it gives you the willy. it's just a bunch of mouths all flying around um they have.
Crit:
[26:25] Like the tongues and everything or is it like.
Dylan:
[26:27] Uh you know.
Crit:
[26:28] Like what how much of the mouth.
Dylan:
[26:29] Well if you look down one of them uh bites onto your helmet and uh you know you swat it away with your shield but before you do you see that its tongue was reaching in through the hole of your helmet oh and uh it's is it now it was before it like got swatted out. And yeah, you can't. It's like a fuzzy kind of like fungus-y. No. It's kind of got this texture to it, like fish gills all around it just in micro form.
Crit:
[27:04] I was trying to sexualize it, but you made it bad.
Cap:
[27:06] Ha!
Dylan:
[27:07] This is a bad guy. He's not sexy. Yeah, pustules and lesions. And leaves behind just a bit of that black goo on your visor. as you run through and uh some of them got through uh you felt teeth sliding along in between pieces of armor it hurt real bad the one that you got hit by doesn't seem to have uh halved your hit points or anything like that you know you don't feel sick you make it through there thea.
Cap:
[27:38] I'm gonna eldritch blast him.
Dylan:
[27:41] All right.
Cap:
[27:43] That's a 12 to hit?
Dylan:
[27:44] A 12 to hit's not going to do it.
Cap:
[27:48] Fuck!
Dylan:
[27:48] Almost fried.
Cap:
[27:50] All right, well, that's my turn.
Dylan:
[27:52] They break apart, half of them staying with Asterisk, and the other three go flying, dodging the Eldritch Blast aimed in their direction as they weave around it and come hurtling towards Thea. Thea does a 17 hit.
Cap:
[28:08] Yes.
Dylan:
[28:09] One of them flies up to you and just starts munching on your foot it's like it's your toe and then once it gets it starts like chomping up more and more and more and like you can feel its lips kind of like pulling it's pulling it your foot in i.
Cap:
[28:26] Charge extra for that.
Dylan:
[28:27] Thank you you take uh 13 points of damage fuck.
Cap:
[28:32] Me wait okay hold on daddy's armor does something if a creature hits you with a melee attack while you have these hit points the creature takes five cold damage oh.
Dylan:
[28:41] Really yeah sweet and don't you have like uh temporary hit points yep.
Cap:
[28:46] And so i have taken those are all gone and i will take three additional.
Dylan:
[28:50] Okay yeah uh yeah it shattered the uh malachite like spectral malachite armor that surrounded your foot and then actually got in uh underneath and you're like, yeah, it was like stepping on a mousetrap or something. Okay, it also coughs your foot up after it gets through because of the cold damage. And now its teeth are jittering and it looks kind of weird and like a drawing of a mouth that looks cold.
Cap:
[29:19] Yeah, that's right. Don't lick my toes.
Dylan:
[29:22] Asteris, you are still just muscling through them. They couldn't get through your armor and your shield.
Crit:
[29:28] That's right.
Dylan:
[29:28] As you keep going.
Crit:
[29:30] Bitches.
Dylan:
[29:31] Yeah, now it's Asteris' turn.
Crit:
[29:32] It's my turn. All right, I'm at the crystal. What does it smell like?
Cap:
[29:37] Smells like a nightmare Okay.
Dylan:
[29:41] So you run straight up to the crystal The bats are following you It looks like something that has been put under incredible stress and heat And has been tortured Even just for crystal Poor baby It seems to be filled with something that doesn't fit inside of it And seems to be growing I don't like that making something within the smell is of nothing and not that doesn't smell bad it smells like a void yeah there's just no life to the smell here.
Crit:
[30:17] Okay i want to try something i want to lay on hands on a crystal because it says that alternatively i can spend five points from my pool to cure the target of one disease or neutralize one poison affecting it you can do multiple diseases and poisons in a single use expending hit points separately for each one however the feature has no effect on undead and constructs but i would like to enhance my hands by cutting my hand open a little bit and laying on blood on hands blood.
Cap:
[30:50] Magic and the chantry said nothing good could come of.
Crit:
[30:54] It
Dylan:
[30:57] Yeah okay i.
Crit:
[30:59] Want to claim this node for lilith.
Dylan:
[31:00] You reach the crystal and almost want to reach out and touch it for how tormented it seems you realize that you might be able to do something to help and you bite off the glove and you cut open your palm with the face of the lady on your mace just on one of the sharp points there and immediately start to channel this divine energy from your blood and you feel it welling up but it feels it doesn't feel painful it doesn't feel like blood's coming out but really yeah it's euphoric and uh you feel it pumping up into your arm and not only just uh physically but magically power and you reach out and touch the point of the diamond and lay on hands the light comes from your hand in a spray of red shades through the diamond battling the green and the yellow and the black, You see blood start to take shape and form and wrap itself around the bottom of the diamond, much like the vines did around your feet. And the diamond reacts from within. This alien within starts to thrum again, like it did when you first approached it.
Cap:
[32:20] More shit.
Dylan:
[32:21] Asterisk, as you're holding the diamond, you can feel it vibrating and you can feel it fighting. and you can feel it fighting with you feeling like it has strength within it rising due to your intervention but it's not instant you may have to do this for longer okay.
Crit:
[32:39] Channel this but i want to look back at thea and be like because i feel like we're just learning about combining our powers um yeah.
Cap:
[32:47] Is this is this place circular by any chance.
Crit:
[32:49] Oh
Dylan:
[32:50] Seems endless so.
Cap:
[32:52] It so it could be.
Dylan:
[32:55] I guess every place is circular if you think about it this is.
Cap:
[33:01] Lilith approved logic.
Dylan:
[33:03] So that was Astris' turn now it's Thea's turn alright.
Cap:
[33:08] Part of me wants to cast Fog Cloud.
Dylan:
[33:11] Ooh I want you.
Crit:
[33:13] To cast Fog Cloud.
Cap:
[33:16] I feel like obfuscation is not a bad play.
Crit:
[33:21] Fog is in a circle, right?
Cap:
[33:24] Can I create a circle with the fog?
Dylan:
[33:28] Yeah, fuck you. Okay.
Cap:
[33:33] That works. If that's game-breaking, I will not do it.
Crit:
[33:36] We did it.
Dylan:
[33:40] Fine. But it's fleeting. It's fleeting is the thing. because it will be a regular after this round. How about that? You can do it on an opening round because you have a circle. Alright, just don't abuse this shit.
Cap:
[33:55] I didn't even mean to come at it from a I broke it sort of angle. It was just the next progression of thought.
Dylan:
[34:04] Yeah, no, I like it.
Crit:
[34:05] That's what these enhancements are for I thought.
Dylan:
[34:09] Okay, upon fog cloud, and before you even finish, upon fog cloud, You see Kink Floof take his readied action.
Cap:
[34:19] Nice.
Dylan:
[34:19] And the mouth that was biting onto your foot that looks all cold and frowny right now, it's flopping on the ground, and you just see a flash of black. The smile shrivels up and turns into kind of like a spiral on two ends before it just turns into dust. And you can't see it anymore due to the fog. but uh yeah king floof did a little drive by on.
Cap:
[34:45] That thing and finished.
Dylan:
[34:46] It off nice.
Cap:
[34:47] Hell yes it's.
Dylan:
[34:49] Uh yeah you think he's just running around in circles under your feet like so.
Cap:
[34:54] Fuck yeah keep my toes safe.
Crit:
[34:56] Oh i love him.
Dylan:
[34:58] That's not your whole action though that's just something you can do with your instrument.
Cap:
[35:02] To enhance what you're doing so for my next action i'm gonna blast one of the mouths sweet blast them blast them she's.
Crit:
[35:13] Blasting them and by um.
Cap:
[35:15] I am not blast we mean them um penises that was a that's a 10 that does not hurt i'm switching dice that one is failing me this one has been so true it's been so true and so good and it's it's not rolled well today that's.
Dylan:
[35:30] All right Alright, it's my turn The mouths are Flapping around Asterisk right now And the diamond Trying to swoop and dive bomb Get you to stop doing what you're doing Trying to chew at your hand Because it's free of its glove Suck your fingers I won't do it I won't do it either, And then Thea They're flying up higher To get out of the fog and they're trying to swoop you one at a time as well. One of them flies up and then just flies directly in front of you to attack, which provokes an attack of opportunity if you wanted to whack them.
Cap:
[36:12] Yes all right i'm gonna go all right motherfucker and i'm gonna like sort of slip my lute harp off and i'm gonna hold it by the neck and like kind of swing at one of the bats like a fucking like baseball fucking.
Dylan:
[36:24] Hot girl shit sweet so yeah i mean it's it's an improvised weapon or whatever but you're you're fucking hitting them with it so i don't i don't think you get all your uh your proficiency bonus to hit but roll your snow your decks.
Cap:
[36:37] Okay so that's 13 plus 5. 15, 16, 17, 18.
Dylan:
[36:43] It hits.
Crit:
[36:44] Hell yeah.
Cap:
[36:44] Woo!
Dylan:
[36:45] So, I'll just have you roll a d4.
Cap:
[36:48] Okay. 3!
Dylan:
[36:50] Sweet. Do you have a strength bonus?
Cap:
[36:52] No.
Dylan:
[36:53] Okay. That's fine. Yeah, so you do 3 damage and you smack it basically out of your face. It was going straight for your face with its mouth wide open and you just smacked it away. It would have got you otherwise.
Cap:
[37:07] This is the money maker. You can't touch this.
Dylan:
[37:10] The other one was diving into behind it, but you smacked the other one into it and knocked it off course.
Cap:
[37:18] Fuck yeah.
Dylan:
[37:19] Yeah, that's what a three is. That's what happened. Yeah, and the one that you smacked out of the air gets kind of line driven to the dirt about 20 feet in front of you.
Cap:
[37:30] Suck it.
Dylan:
[37:31] You hear like a...
Cap:
[37:34] Yes! Yes, my good boy.
Dylan:
[37:37] Asterisk, it's your turn.
Crit:
[37:38] Awesome. I want to continue to lay on hands So I'll do that again You're going to do.
Dylan:
[37:45] It as many times As you have the hit points to spend So we'll just say like one hit point per Or whatever.
Crit:
[37:51] It's five for healing a disease And I have twenty total so I can do it For four rounds Okay yeah.
Dylan:
[37:58] Is working your light that you're emanating from the bottom has reached the very base and has started climbing and has reached about a third of the way up of the diamond and you start to see it your light being more pure at the bottom there pushing this icor and ooze out of little cracks and you see them closing up turning back into their original formation it makes horrible cracking sounds and you think it's painful, but you know that you're helping and it's probably a lot less painful than what it had been dealing with.
Cap:
[38:36] Hot paladin shit.
Dylan:
[38:37] Thea, you would see this better from a distance, but the blood is still spiraling wildly like ribbons surrounding and is only going as high as the light is brightest, but you see it gaining strength and speed and enveloping the crystal but the crystal is humming and it's going to thrum again and you know something bad's going to happen maybe more mouths uh maybe something worse than mouths a rising dread is happening as the crystal or at least the smiler's influence seems more desperate there are from what you can see four more bats on the field and thea you think that it'll be maybe another round or two before something else springs out if you don't do something.
Crit:
[39:27] Um, I want to call out to Thea while I can on my turn. Like, I feel like if she's closer, I can still protect her with my aura. Let's stay together. Come to me. I can still keep you safe.
Cap:
[39:38] All right. I'll run down that way when I can.
Dylan:
[39:43] Yeah, Thea, it's your turn. You only have one bat around you, but it's not in, you know, you wouldn't be provoking if you ran. But in a big cloud of fog billowing from your instrument as you go streaking towards Asterisk, it would chase you.
Cap:
[39:59] I'll start on my way there. So I'm going to hit this thing and then I'm going to run toward Asterisk.
Dylan:
[40:04] Yeah. Okay.
Crit:
[40:06] Maybe we can come together.
Cap:
[40:09] 15 to hit?
Dylan:
[40:10] Yeah, it hits.
Cap:
[40:11] Ooh. 10 plus 4. 14.
Dylan:
[40:15] Yes. All right. You send a blast pointed directly into the mouth of this thing. And oddly enough, like, it doesn't actually explode or anything on impact. It seems to just swallow it and then turn into dust once its mouth closes.
Cap:
[40:37] Nice.
Dylan:
[40:38] Like you sent that Eldritch Blast somewhere else.
Crit:
[40:41] Whoa.
Cap:
[40:43] Nice.
Dylan:
[40:44] But the mouth or whatever it was, it is not bothering you anymore.
Cap:
[40:49] Sick. All right. Well, I am momentarily confused and interested in that. And then I go, yeah, no. Okay. And then I run over to Asterisk.
Dylan:
[40:58] Yeah. Hey, you get about half the distance you normally would. And now it's time for me to get batty. Asterisk, the bats are getting frantic and dive-bombing you. You get hit by one of them. Just a graze, though, for three damage.
Crit:
[41:15] Good. Come at me.
Cap:
[41:16] Noice.
Dylan:
[41:17] But it's your hand. Your hand's getting absolutely mauled. They're not going for your face or anything because you're all just shielded and armored up, but that hand is where they're coming and taking slashing bites and stuff, and you're losing blood.
Crit:
[41:31] Yeah, I'll continue to channel laying on hands on the crystal or on the diamond.
Dylan:
[41:37] All right. It is vibrating physically in a very positive way around your hand. Some of that healing that you're pushing through pushes back into your hand and you get two hit points returned to you.
Cap:
[41:53] Aww.
Dylan:
[41:54] You see a light pierce through the center and reached the top, but only a laser. And it seems to have started to win this battle.
Cap:
[42:06] Fuck yeah!
Dylan:
[42:08] Thea, as you're running towards it, you can see the light show. You see the light piercing through the very top of the diamond and starting to create a nimbus effect that makes light come further and further down from the top as well. And the blood keeps wrapping around ribbons in this wide, almost oblong shape surrounding it, like a cocoon. And now it's Thea's turn. You make it to the crystal, or the diamond, and you make it to Asterisk. What do you plan to do?
Cap:
[42:46] I am going to cure wounds Asterisk.
Dylan:
[42:51] Okay.
Cap:
[42:52] Your hand is getting all torn up, so I'm going to put mine on top of yours and heal you.
Dylan:
[42:59] Oh.
Crit:
[43:00] Oh.
Cap:
[43:02] For six hit points.
Dylan:
[43:05] Six hit points. All right. Asterisk, you are healed.
Crit:
[43:10] I'm healed.
Dylan:
[43:12] It feels like warm sunshine on your skin.
Crit:
[43:16] Oh.
Dylan:
[43:17] This magic. It feels like a nice cool breeze or like the spray of a waterfall. With your blood, it continues to heal. You can feel that it's not done, that it has just started to heal. and that it will continue to do so. It fizzes and tickles. And something weird going on there. The blood and Thea's magic.
Cap:
[43:44] Something weird.
Crit:
[43:45] Something weird.
Cap:
[43:46] We're getting a reaction.
Crit:
[43:49] I get goosebumps.
Dylan:
[43:49] It feels great. Thea, you feel a lot of this as well. You're not injured like that. Wait, you did take a little bit of damage, right?
Cap:
[44:00] Yeah.
Dylan:
[44:01] Okay. Yeah, you begin to be healed as well.
Cap:
[44:05] Fuck yeah!
Dylan:
[44:06] Yeah, when you put your hand on hers and your magics blend, you both start to feel the effects.
Cap:
[44:13] Who heals the healer?
Dylan:
[44:15] Right. You can both feel your magic, Asterisk's magic intermingle with the magic of the diamond. And it all pushes inward into the diamond. And the light begins to swell and grow from the center And you can see a lot of this black goo and pus and yellow just burning away As it's just vaporizing through its little cracks and tunnels as it resets and reforms The blood surrounds you and the diamond fully now in a cocoon And the bats can't get through Oh. The sickly colors melt away from within, and the light shining within the diamond glows bright to blinding levels. You can't look directly at it. All you see is the reflection of the blood, the light from it, and looking into the blood, a bit of a reflection of the diamond. As the light starts to fade To tolerable levels You see it reformed Into a symmetrical Diamond of great size That you recognize Seeing the top of As it spins and begins to descend Into the ground Fuck yeah.
Dylan:
[45:38] The blood curtain Drops around you All at once And a huge splash Around you, So, there are no more bats. And the crystal, the diamond, looks like it has continued to sink and no longer occupies this plane.
Cap:
[46:00] Wow. Astris, that was wild.
Crit:
[46:04] Wow.
Cap:
[46:04] What were you doing? I looked at your hand and it's all bloody. I was like, it's a mess.
Crit:
[46:11] Yeah.
Dylan:
[46:11] Yeah, you're healed now fully. That whole experience seemed to vibrate through you. All of the magic seemed to be amplified and returned.
Crit:
[46:21] So do I get my lay on hands points back?
Dylan:
[46:25] You actually do.
Crit:
[46:27] Yes!
Cap:
[46:28] Shut up.
Crit:
[46:30] They call me the negotiator.
Cap:
[46:33] Spoiled players, are we?
Dylan:
[46:37] No, it's strange. It wasn't something that I just thought of because she said it. After basking in the light of that magical node, it seemed to refresh your spirits and make you feel as if you had rested instead of walked an entire day.
Cap:
[46:57] Thanks, node friend.
Crit:
[47:00] Wow, that's incredible. I feel incredible. I'm covered in blood, but...
Cap:
[47:05] But you look fantastic covered in blood, really.
Crit:
[47:08] I do a little pose.
Dylan:
[47:09] You do. I mean, it fits the whole theme and everything.
Crit:
[47:13] Yeah.
Cap:
[47:13] I'm just like, as you are posing in it, I'm just prestidigitating myself fucking clean.
Dylan:
[47:19] Yeah.
Crit:
[47:20] Slay.
Cap:
[47:21] Wow, that looks so good on you as I clean myself.
Dylan:
[47:26] So after you clean up a bit and come back down to back to your senses you notice your surroundings have changed the stones on the ground that made it so hard to walk now looks like an endless crop line field the same color but looking at what the crops would be they're all of uh different irregular sizes mostly small think like a size of a strawberry plant or something okay some larger in the distance in weird shapes you know like hedges that have been cut into weird shapes and stuff like that do you want to look close at any of these i mean they're all around you yeah i'm a, looks like cancerous postules and growths in fruit patches. Some are larger, some are smaller, and like I said, some are in irregular shapes that you can't quite make out unless you walk closer. And as you do, as you get closer to any of them, they quiver and move and react to your presence.
Crit:
[48:41] Oh, no.
Cap:
[48:41] Oh, dear.
Crit:
[48:42] Oh, no.
Dylan:
[48:43] And this tainted field crops of whatever surrounds you, and you get closer and see that some of these look like limbs.
Crit:
[48:55] Oh, no.
Dylan:
[48:56] They look like maybe half a face. It looks like the parts of the body part that might have the taint shows up here.
Crit:
[49:07] Oh. This is the taint realm?
Cap:
[49:11] This is the taint field?
Dylan:
[49:12] You have found the tainted fields.
Crit:
[49:14] Oh, God.
Cap:
[49:15] The tainted fields.
Crit:
[49:19] We just couldn't see it before?
Dylan:
[49:21] Yeah.
Crit:
[49:21] Or did we make it better?
Dylan:
[49:22] Well, you were walking.
Cap:
[49:24] We did something.
Dylan:
[49:25] It was hard to get there, and it's just as hard to walk. It's different now.
Crit:
[49:30] The tainted fields were barren before, but now, see, they are full of taint.
Cap:
[49:35] Full of taint and limb.
Dylan:
[49:37] You just had to look between the cracks.
Crit:
[49:40] I super don't want to walk back the way we came. That took forever, and that was awful.
Dylan:
[49:45] Well, you don't really know which way you came.
Cap:
[49:49] Did we even finish doing what we were supposed to do?
Crit:
[49:53] Did we even help?
Cap:
[49:54] Did we even do anything?
Crit:
[49:56] Did we just make his crystal better?
Cap:
[49:58] Have we been gone for another 10 years?
Crit:
[50:01] No!
Dylan:
[50:02] As far as the diamond, it seemed like what you had done is reverse the effects of a corrupted node in your physical world from within. And either whether it was fully taken or almost completely taken, you saved it. And upon lifting his influence over a node there, revealed what you're actually walking over.
Cap:
[50:31] Taint fields.
Dylan:
[50:32] Taints.
Crit:
[50:33] This is why it was so hard to get there, was we were walking on taints this whole time.
Dylan:
[50:38] The field of taints.
Cap:
[50:38] The whole time of field of taints.
Crit:
[50:40] I feel tainted.
Dylan:
[50:42] You continue on thea in the direction you feel is correct you know you're like okay back to it yep uh more intuitive now than in a physical sensation featureless skies still aside from the storm clouds giving you ambient light you think there might be light above the clouds somewhere ahead of you where you're going you try to avoid walking and stepping on these things it is now less a matter of like tripping and falling and it being like unstable and more of like avoiding walking and dog shit constantly yeah we're.
Cap:
[51:24] We're dodging tainty landmines.
Dylan:
[51:27] Yeah and you start to notice that well let's see here i'll just see who gets it.
Cap:
[51:33] Oh oh dear.
Dylan:
[51:34] Okay Thea, you are leading the way a bit. You're like this way. You guys are kind of walking abreast. King Floof is on your shoulders. He hates it here. He was on the ground for a minute, but was hissing immediately and got back up.
Cap:
[51:51] Oh, that's not pleasant for something that small.
Dylan:
[51:53] And has been just doing the like in your ear.
Cap:
[51:57] Real.
Dylan:
[51:58] But you stepped over one of the crop lines and a tainted hand reached out and grabbed for your foot.
Cap:
[52:07] No, I scream and jump away.
Dylan:
[52:10] You scream and jump away. So roll a dex save.
Cap:
[52:15] 16.
Dylan:
[52:16] 16. Okay. You get away from it. It like was catching on to your robe and your foot. And you're like, get away. Yeah. Like a scream pierces the night and scares the shit out of you. As you see both King Floof and Thea kind of leap out of their skin. Thea's already pointing.
Crit:
[52:40] I smash the hand.
Dylan:
[52:41] Yeah. You see the hand and immediately.
Crit:
[52:43] I hit it with my mace Yeah.
Dylan:
[52:46] You kill it It smashes Yeah, you hit it Like a 24 Yeah Fuck Asterisks to me Like the second you're in the air Screaming There's a mace descending Upon the hand And it splatters into black gore Amazing, Landing though You start noticing that Any fully formed things Or anything that can move Seems to react to you And go after you.
Cap:
[53:12] Oh god damn it Stay close Stop, Estrus they just keep touching me I hate this I hate this so much.
Dylan:
[53:23] The tainting.
Cap:
[53:24] Fields are these the groping fields.
Crit:
[53:26] I've got my shield out I'm giving them disadvantage On trying to attack Thea.
Dylan:
[53:32] Okay That's smart Can.
Cap:
[53:36] I ride on your back.
Dylan:
[53:37] I'll let you ready an action to impose disadvantage On any creature that attacks Thea I'm so protected You Keep walking And You see You know So like fingers and stuff Like half formed Hands That are like Trying to crawl But they're still attached to the The vine or whatever it is Into the ground And they can't You know They don't have the strength to really get out Um.
Cap:
[54:06] One of these belongs to Glenward.
Dylan:
[54:09] It's true. Yeah. You see a lot of fingertips and stuff like that. You know, it starts in small places. You see some dicks. You see some titties, some butts, you know.
Crit:
[54:23] Wow, the whole ass.
Dylan:
[54:24] Just one cheek.
Crit:
[54:26] Oh.
Dylan:
[54:26] One cheek's fully.
Crit:
[54:27] Saved up.
Cap:
[54:28] Oh, wow. Sitting's going to be right.
Dylan:
[54:30] Tainted.
Crit:
[54:31] Yeah.
Dylan:
[54:32] Tainted.
Crit:
[54:32] But they save the rest of the ass. God.
Dylan:
[54:35] There's just too many asses to save you you can you know you can sit here and heal them all day but really that's.
Cap:
[54:42] Too many asses.
Crit:
[54:43] Yeah like you're saying it's fields that's like thousands like.
Dylan:
[54:48] Yeah right.
Cap:
[54:49] Yeah i don't got.
Dylan:
[54:49] That kind of juice and as you're looking around you're like yeah it's endless uh you know you have to do a double take because you see a pair of legs sprinting towards you no no sprinting no fast as it can no absolutely no let's roll it are they.
Cap:
[55:10] Like attached at like the torso or are they just two individual legs is there connective tissue with.
Dylan:
[55:14] Them no there's like a like a waist like it's jagged up to like over one hip bone and then down to like uh you know cutting through another part and it seems to be trailing something behind it I fucking hate this.
Crit:
[55:33] Alright my initiative 11, Alright, I can see him, though.
Cap:
[55:39] Unnatural 20.
Dylan:
[55:41] Oh, hell yeah.
Crit:
[55:42] Dirty, dirty 20.
Dylan:
[55:43] Alright, so, Thea, you get to go first.
Cap:
[55:45] I'm gonna immediately fucking blast it.
Dylan:
[55:47] You're like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, so you see this jagged pair of legs running at you like chips of paint. Humanoid, but inhuman at the same time. Spikey, rushing you.
Cap:
[56:01] I'm gonna blast it. Unnatural 20.
Dylan:
[56:06] Okay, yeah, that hits.
Cap:
[56:07] Where did my D10 go? There it is. Seven points of force damage.
Dylan:
[56:15] All right. So as you are basically already have your hackles up, you look over and see this and immediately point and shoot.
Cap:
[56:24] Yeah, I kind of yelp and go like.
Dylan:
[56:27] Yeah, you yelp and force, you know, an Eldritch Blast flies out of your hand at the same time as your yelp.
Cap:
[56:34] I yelp out an Eldritch Blast?
Dylan:
[56:37] And as it's flying towards this pair of legs that's running towards you, you notice the legs making this weird creaking noise. And the blast of force hits this pair of legs and blows it to pieces. But it sounds like springs kind of unloading and flying into pieces and squeaks and and weirdness as uh it turns into uh black viscera and gore and seems to seep into the ground where it lands absolutely.
Cap:
[57:21] Not today that.
Crit:
[57:23] Bad thing gone.
Cap:
[57:25] I don't know what the fuck that was but fuck no.
Crit:
[57:31] Get me out of here. Get me out of here.
Cap:
[57:35] Estrus, I hate it here.
Crit:
[57:37] How do we leave?
Cap:
[57:39] I don't know. This way, I think.
Dylan:
[57:45] You guys start heading off.
Cap:
[57:48] We're getting really whiny.
Crit:
[57:50] I'm not looking around. I'm not doing my job. I'm looking at the ground. I don't want to see it.
Cap:
[57:57] Kicking rocks. Not stepping on dicks.
Crit:
[58:00] I'm just walking as fast as I can and no.
Dylan:
[58:04] King Floof King Floof climbs down frantically and is looking around wide eyed and hates it here and is like leaping in the air and looks behind him and then looks up at you and says run and you hear just and he starts zooming off down the path and you see little hands and stuff trying to grab him and you see his paws flapping and leaping and jumping and he's running and you turn around to see the ground moving behind you. No. His hands are crawling and some are carrying other things like a leg that's kicking and a head starts moaning and at surprising speed as the crops are pulling the other crops out as they start to assemble.
Cap:
[59:07] No! Stop!
Dylan:
[59:09] And we'll leave it there for now.
Cap:
[59:13] Good!
Crit:
[59:14] Good! Great. I'm so glad. I don't want to know what happens next.
Cap:
[59:21] Othea, too hot for her own good. It's hard being a 10. Good thing Astrus is there to protect her. Happy New Year, everyone! I'm happy to welcome you all to 2025. We're looking forward to another year of bringing our silly, horny antics direct to your ears. This has been such a wild ride, and we're glad to have you with us. If you're one for social media, consider giving our Instagram a follow, Stupid Sexy D&D Podcast. And if you have any hot, cool friends you think might dig our vibe, Send him over. We don't bite. Hard. And remember, episodes of Slash and Fuck release every other Monday. Until next time, stay hot, stay healthy, and Happy New Year, y'all.