Thea and Astris help a friend in a strange way and get a very interesting glimpse behind the curtain
Cap:
[0:00] Hello, and welcome to Slash and Fuck, a stupid sexy D&D podcast. As the title suggests, we are a mature podcast and will be dealing with adult themes and content as our story unfolds. Since you're here, I want to thank you for starting this journey with us, and we hope you enjoy your stay. So without further ado, let's slip into something a little more comfortable.
Dylan:
[0:22] I'll you next time. welcome back we last left off in the care and comfort of the minotaurs in their village you went to the refugee quarter and met a woman by the name of carmilla who was in the service of Lilith. You caught up a bit. She filled you in a little bit on some goings on a bit of how the world works. You know that you can go further down and keep going down until you eventually reach the ribbon. It's one method of reaching that area. You heard of what they fear to be a new And by they, I mean the impure, these people, people of Lilith, the Fae, etc. The Smiler, the Smiling Man.
Cap:
[1:27] The Bastard.
Dylan:
[1:28] The Bastard. Causing disharmony, corruption. Before you were able to settle down and get to dinner, there was an attack that The cave-in ended up allowing entrance of the Covenant of Purity.
Cap:
[1:47] Boo.
Dylan:
[1:48] You went out to fight them. You found that they were swarming in via the cave-in through the slime tunnels, and it was imperative that none of them knew this village was here, this labyrinth, any of it. And you did make short work of all of them. Asterisk, you ran in, helped hold the line with the village guards, the cows on the line. And Thea, you brought order to some of the madness there. Started performing with your instrument and getting the bulls to start fighting and coordinating rather than just rampaging. And then you blew everything up, Thea. You caused a massive cave in, rocks piling on top of everybody. buddy it stopped the influx of the covenant and effectively ended the battle yeah you, accidentally hit a bull with some of that blast and you ended up healing him he uh he thanked you, and uh sure did seems like he he liked what he was looking at.
Cap:
[3:00] She liked most of what she was looking back at. Those fingers were a thing.
Dylan:
[3:06] Nobody's perfect. You do notice that a lot of them wear gloves. So, you know, you're looking it now. Looking for it. Yeah, on your way back to tuck in for the night, you had a brief conversation with Carmilla before she disappeared. You spoke with Jerry. She was in awe of your performance and your ability to motivate the troops to coordinate. And you guys turned in for the night. And you leveled up.
Cap:
[3:33] Yay!
Dylan:
[3:35] So, we got some level three doods over here.
Cap:
[3:39] Finally!
Dylan:
[3:40] Yeah. What were you? You took warlock?
Cap:
[3:43] Yep. Now I'm level two warlock.
Dylan:
[3:46] Seek. And that gave you what again?
Cap:
[3:49] I got two eldritch invocations. one of which was agonizing blast which adds my charisma modifier to my eldritch blast damage and the other was called mask of many phases and that lets me cast disguise self at will which is pretty sick since i'm america's most wanted yeah.
Crit:
[4:09] You stand.
Dylan:
[4:10] Out quite a bit.
Crit:
[4:11] God we finally put on sunglasses i.
Cap:
[4:14] Know i'm just like oh my god maybe we can go upstairs again um.
Crit:
[4:17] Yeah Oh yeah, I leveled up too. Buckle up. I took another level of fighter, and so I got action surge. So I can go again sometimes, once every short rest or long rest. And...
Dylan:
[4:31] Some hp heck yeah yeah.
Crit:
[4:34] I'd say yeah asterisk was just like i could have done more you know if i could have just acted it more done another action you know i could have.
Dylan:
[4:45] Yeah if only you could swing twice my.
Cap:
[4:47] Fault but you could swing yeah.
Dylan:
[4:50] Um so you guys rest and thea you have a a dream sequence that feels uh very familiar when you fell into that flower bed with oberon the first time nice and it was strange because it wasn't like you fell asleep and then you started to dream it was like right when you flopped into bed you just fell into that flower bed oh sick and you feel oberon's presence uh beside you and you can look down and maybe over your shoulder just a little bit but you can't fully turn around and see him but you can feel him and he's spooning you and he's running his massive hand up and down your side and your arm and he kisses you on the back of the neck and pulls your hair to the side and thanks you for thank you for playing your part you have done so well my violet love.
Dylan:
[5:52] It's more of a vibration than his actual voice, but it resonates through your body. You feel like you're melting into him, but you realize that you're making love and time seems to pass in weird stretches where it feels like it could be hours, it could be moments. And it all kind of wraps and warps around. and some of it feels familiar, like you can dive into it and it has that flavor or smell or some sort of scent of the fey wild that when you're connected, you can experience that time of pleasure for longer.
Cap:
[6:28] Oh, interesting. The implications are insane.
Dylan:
[6:34] And so that kind of spirals in and out for you throughout the evening. You feel upon waking like more powerful and you've been given more gifts from Oberon and you feel your skin ripple and the way that Oberon's did every time he would change his shape for you and you realize that you can change how you look to even your height.
Cap:
[6:58] Sick.
Crit:
[6:59] Oh, shit.
Dylan:
[7:00] Yeah, you feel like you can crack skulls a lot more. Angrier now. Yeah.
Cap:
[7:06] Angory.
Dylan:
[7:09] Asterisk, you, you fall asleep much like you would at the end of a very, very extremely hard training day where you kind of fall, you lie down on your back and you cross your arms over your chest like a corpse and close your eyes. You open your eyes, your arms are still at your chest, but you're standing and you're standing in Lilith's pit again, place where you first met her. You are rising in this center in a dark pool. It seems like blood, but it doesn't get you wet.
Crit:
[7:45] Yeah, it's not really my thing.
Dylan:
[7:47] It seems like blood, but it doesn't stain your skin. You notice yourself first and look upward and you see that Lilith stands before you in all of her glory. or her height and horns and wings spread broad, but not intimidatingly. Like she is making more of an entrance.
Crit:
[8:08] I take a knee.
Dylan:
[8:09] She seems pleased, but you get the sense that she wants more. And it's not that you're kneeling wrong or you're not kneeling enough. It's just this kind of urge that you get when she's around. When she gets closer, she gets more pleased, but she wants a little bit more.
Crit:
[8:27] Yeah, I'm like, both knees. And then I'm on the ground, like, just looking at the ground. I want to give it to her.
Dylan:
[8:35] She strides to you, and you feel something at your chin raising your face upward. And it urges you upward. And as you rise... leaves you and you see that it was the tip of her tail. And as you start to stand, her tail slowly coils around your legs like a python, and it cinches tight, slapping your legs together. And you're forced to stand stock straight up, soldier back like a bow, and you feel the spade of her tail slap you on the ass and this feeling of being pleased and wanting more becomes something that you start feeling yourself like you're bonding here and you see looking upward now lilith her face coming down toward you she opens her mouth and her tongue rolls out and it's split it down the center and it laps downward and enters your mouth as it opens the tongue enters your mouth and it just feels like it's consuming it's threatening to suffocate and consume everything from within you it reaches deep upward into your mind and downward into your soul and And Lilith says into your body.
Dylan:
[9:57] Feed me what I need. And you feel her tongue change from the fleshy organ that it was into liquid, to hot blood. And it's delicious. It's like dessert. And you're forced to drink this, and it's pleasant. And you see spinning in your mind's eye a key, a tiny key. that has the symbol of Lilith same as your chastity belt and you wake up yeah but you feel stronger when you wake up.
Cap:
[10:35] Blood was good for ya mama's milk.
Dylan:
[10:41] This didn't seem to empower you this dream, what this what you feel is stronger in the traditional sense like you're like okay I've got I get a few of those things that I read about in those books now because I've literally fought waves of people now.
Crit:
[10:57] Yeah, that was experience.
Dylan:
[11:00] Yeah. So you're like, okay, next time I run in there, I'll make sure to have enough energy to really give it my all. And you feel like you can maybe. If you really put your mind to it, you could hit somebody an extra time just as hard as the first time. But you're so thirsty. so thirsty i'll say all right um you had your dream sequences all.
Crit:
[11:29] Right we're done for today.
Dylan:
[11:30] And that's it and you leveled up let's.
Crit:
[11:34] Go all right level four.
Dylan:
[11:35] Yeah no one's gonna complain all right bye, uh yeah you also when doing your little morning warm-up routines uh crawling across the fretboard and whatnot you feel like you um really impressed this instrument you know my instrument's.
Cap:
[12:01] Proud of me.
Dylan:
[12:01] Yeah in a weird way it's like glowing from in not only all the use but the use in battle all the correct usage it seems like it just it's like you get me is you know enrichment yeah it feels very seen um so now you notice that um on the loot itself uh it's not really like a dial or something but it's you know something there and when you manipulate it a bunch of fog comes out and fills half the room. You're like, I'm inventing metal. Yeah. And you're like, this is pretty sweet. First, you were worried it was like a gas cloud and you were going to kill everybody.
Cap:
[12:49] Oh, no, I broke it.
Dylan:
[12:51] It's on fire. Yeah, it's like poison gas. But then you realize it's more like steam. Yeah, and it just kind of sticks to the ground, up to your knees.
Cap:
[13:02] I hug my harploot real close. and i kiss it and i go i love you so fucking much uh.
Dylan:
[13:11] You can hear uh thrums of harmony within.
Cap:
[13:15] As my girl um oh astros morning oh good morning you you all right um.
Crit:
[13:28] Yeah i just had a an intense dream.
Cap:
[13:31] Oh oh yeah yeah same actually oh yeah oberon i assume yours was no not about oberon no i mean no i mean you're you're you're oberon oh.
Crit:
[13:48] Yeah right um yeah you could say that yeah it was a lilith dream wetter than i imagined.
Cap:
[14:01] Uh oh bloodier.
Crit:
[14:04] Than i imagined but it.
Cap:
[14:06] Was good it was.
Crit:
[14:07] All right yeah i liked it.
Cap:
[14:09] That's okay Okay.
Crit:
[14:12] That's...
Cap:
[14:12] Blood?
Crit:
[14:14] Yeah.
Cap:
[14:15] Cool.
Crit:
[14:16] Yeah, it seems like I'm gonna be... Taking more stuff. No, scratch that.
Dylan:
[14:26] I guess you guys have gotten up from your beds and gone into either, you're probably in the same bedroom, right? Getting up, talking to each other, or have you gone into the common room?
Crit:
[14:38] Yeah, we're not yelling in our room.
Dylan:
[14:39] Okay, yeah.
Crit:
[14:40] Through a door, I mean. so.
Dylan:
[14:42] Um asterisk you're relaying what uh happened in your dream and how it was blood kind of metaphorical and hard to describe as dreams usually are um.
Crit:
[14:54] Yeah she said take need you to take more of what you take take more take care i think, she wanted me to she wanted me to take good care of myself well.
Cap:
[15:11] I think that's a really.
Crit:
[15:12] Like great message for.
Cap:
[15:14] Your patron to give you.
Crit:
[15:15] Dreams are a really terrible way to communicate i just want to i don't know you forget them as soon as you wake up you forget them as soon as you wake up it's no worth i didn't i haven't forgotten.
Cap:
[15:27] Anything i'm gonna turn that into there.
Crit:
[15:29] Was like a hand or something and like i yeah i was like really thirsty i couldn't remember why but i was just yeah and i there's.
Cap:
[15:41] Some water on the dresser.
Crit:
[15:43] Damn it's on the tip of my tongue i yeah i drink that water oh.
Cap:
[15:48] Well all of it.
Crit:
[15:48] All of it i chug it shit yeah Yeah. It just doesn't hit the spot for some reason, though.
Cap:
[15:56] Oh, so you're still, you're perpetually thirsty. Oh, no.
Crit:
[15:59] Yeah, I crave human blood now.
Dylan:
[16:01] That's not... i'll just stop you there i don't want to railroad you too much but you you.
Cap:
[16:15] Do not in fact have the hunger.
Dylan:
[16:17] You don't have that hunger carmilla what.
Crit:
[16:22] Have you done.
Cap:
[16:25] Oh oh my god.
Dylan:
[16:27] Yes please uh to put it i guess if you were to make sense of it But Lilith needs more power, and you need to channel it to her.
Crit:
[16:38] I need to take it.
Dylan:
[16:39] And you need to take it and give it to her.
Crit:
[16:41] Slay. River of blood.
Dylan:
[16:45] She's been used with you, but she wants you to take more, and she has her ways of showing her appreciation.
Cap:
[16:55] Well, should we go check on our new friend?
Crit:
[17:01] Yes. Yeah, that seems just right.
Cap:
[17:06] All right. I guess we'll... I'm going to head out to the common room, see if Carmilla's there, or if I know which one her door is. If she's not in there, I'll knock on that.
Dylan:
[17:19] You guys go into the common room, and Carmilla's standing off to the side, uh, chalantly.
Crit:
[17:29] I'm gonna I'm gonna give her like a formal military salute I'm like officer concubine Carbilla, well she gave orders to kink floof right so there's some kind of thing you know what I mean so she seems like an officer.
Cap:
[17:49] Right respect Theo just goes ooh does that mean I get to call you sir.
Dylan:
[17:54] You see the barest like smirk when you guys are like ooh officer babe or whatever, officer mummy she approaches very swiftly, in a flash too fucking swift she comes up and she's like the mother she visited us you too yes she.
Crit:
[18:20] Uh thirsty what like did she.
Dylan:
[18:23] She carmilla looks over at you like are you offering did.
Crit:
[18:28] She kiss you too um and asterisk is like blushing.
Dylan:
[18:33] Oh no i've only kissed her wait that doesn't matter she visited us this is um oh.
Crit:
[18:41] Never mind a.
Dylan:
[18:42] You must understand it's very difficult for her to reach us here or any realm outside of her own at the moment.
Crit:
[18:52] Really? She had a pretty long reach. Never mind.
Dylan:
[18:57] It helps when you're unconscious and she's directly trying to reach you, but she does not do it unless she has reason. Did she have any word or message?
Crit:
[19:17] She wants me to take care of things. for her more and.
Cap:
[19:23] To take care of yourself.
Crit:
[19:24] And take care of myself and probably to take care of you as well you're probably under that umbrella she probably needs you she needs you so i need you yeah i'm taking you i'm taking you down to south i think she wants me to take you You, Carmilla, and you, Thea, with me, take care of both of you and take, I'm taking both of you to the ribbon. It's, that's it. It's, it's, it's been decided by me. I'm doing it.
Cap:
[20:02] Asterisk. Keep talking like that and I'll start calling you, sir.
Crit:
[20:07] Oh, no. Oh, God.
Dylan:
[20:09] She must be pleased.
Cap:
[20:12] So pleased.
Crit:
[20:13] You don't have to do that i do i'm not in charge of anybody really are.
Cap:
[20:18] You sure okay.
Crit:
[20:20] We're all in charge of ourselves here, but i'm taking care of both of you you've.
Cap:
[20:28] Done a stellar job with me already.
Crit:
[20:30] Thank you my lady.
Dylan:
[20:33] Doing my carmilla looks over at ethea and she says you were visited oh yeah by whom.
Crit:
[20:43] By her Lilith.
Cap:
[20:44] By my Lilith, yes.
Dylan:
[20:46] She looks very confused at that.
Cap:
[20:50] Needless to say, I have a lord, and he visits me at night now, apparently.
Dylan:
[20:58] Oh, it's from the Feylands. I see.
Cap:
[21:02] Yeah. Can you smell it on me? I mean, you met the girls. I opened the Pringles can.
Crit:
[21:07] Can I redo an insight check? Is she judgy?
Dylan:
[21:11] Uh, sure. Sure. 16 she doesn't seem uh like she's prejudiced uh she seems cautious seems more uh intrigued than anything else she goes on there are major forces at play the as i said the gods are awakening it is not a coincidence that you are both visited at night i know it at least for lilith it is much easier for her to connect with somebody in another realm when they're unconscious, quite likely the same with you and your patron i think so yeah as far as your insight carmella seems like somebody who's very perceptive and is always taking note and gathering information you know mentally of course she was in a notebook but yeah i mean if you were to get the vibe from her she seems like a spy uh she's only around when you when she wants to be seen so as carmel is looking to you uh she asked do you have any orders could could you share my.
Cap:
[22:27] Orders more or less seem to be live deliciously.
Crit:
[22:31] Yes.
Dylan:
[22:35] Just between us three.
Cap:
[22:37] Always.
Dylan:
[22:38] When dealing with these higher powers, know that they paint in such broad strokes that it is maddening.
Cap:
[22:46] Yeah. Yeah, a little bit.
Dylan:
[22:49] They can see much more of the canvas as we are threads within it. So, I suppose live deliciously. Your lord commands it. And Asteris, take care. Clearly, she is pleased with you and is encouraging you to continue. The door opens from the outside into the common room. And strangely enough, you hear a clatter. And you see Carmilla kind of stumbled over one of the coffee table legs. and you didn't you you caught her in the act of disappearing as jerry came comes in and behind jerry uh miss lisa carmilla pauses freezes where she is miss lisa says uh carmilla what are you doing out of containment what are you doing out of quarantine and uh jerry immediately starts walking over towards uh carmilla is like you better answer You better answer Sane real quick. And Carmela's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's okay. I'm not.
Crit:
[24:00] I want to step between them and be like, we were just debriefing from yesterday's events. She hasn't gone any further than our quarters in the common area. What's the problem here?
Dylan:
[24:15] Well, girls, I hate to say it, but our friend Carmela here has been quarantined because she's got a cursed injury on her leg. and she walks uh miss lisa walks over to the curtain where carmilla goes and she moves it to the side and there's an iron barred door oh wow she requested to be put in here and told us not to let her out and.
Cap:
[24:38] Yet it seems that's a bit irrelevant you.
Dylan:
[24:43] Know there were reports that we uh, That you were out on the battlefield. I guess we can forgive you, but Carmilla, it's dangerous. We don't know what this is. Carmilla hangs her head, actually, and sits down on the step. And she nods, and she moves her cloak to the side. And she says, it's gotten worse.
Crit:
[25:05] No, Carmilla, no.
Dylan:
[25:07] You see on her about mid-thigh that tooth that looks like a rock lodged in the glass. far more defined now the colors that you saw the blacks and blues and yellows that were kind of shimmering almost gave way to a reflective quality and now looks like a broken mirror right on her leg do you want to inspect it either of you yeah.
Crit:
[25:34] Yeah hell yeah all.
Dylan:
[25:36] Right who's going first I'll go first all right uh roll a so you can if you have medicine use it um anything that's relevant to what you're if you're just checking it out in sight or you know yeah I rolled.
Cap:
[25:56] Good um that is a 21.
Dylan:
[26:01] Okay, Asterisk. Roll an insight, and then both of you roll perception checks.
Crit:
[26:12] Okay.
Cap:
[26:15] Oh, no. And that's a one. I'm so engrossed in what I'm seeing that I perceive nothing. I have hyper-focused.
Dylan:
[26:28] Oh, sweet. I was going to say, if it's bad roll, it doesn't count. 19 on your perception uh.
Crit:
[26:36] Which i think i have plus.
Dylan:
[26:38] Yeah so.
Crit:
[26:40] 22 perception and then five insight.
Dylan:
[26:43] Okay you guys you guys are opposite yeah we flipped nice you know.
Cap:
[26:48] What it's called.
Dylan:
[26:49] Teamwork um no this is great okay so thea you um you rush up and crouch down next to her um you know you're like oh no and you are looking at this wound and it has this perfect reflection of the room of your face everything and you know you don't want to touch it you know obviously nobody you know but it is so bizarre how the glass just kind of merges with the skin around it or grows out of it you it's hard to truly wrap your mind around uh asterisk you're looking over thea's shoulder and you're seeing the same things except that when you look into the reflection looking back at you instead of thea's face or your face where you're only seeing half of either of your faces in this cracked reflection.
Dylan:
[27:58] Seeing different pieces, and it's not your face. It's the face of somebody else, When you look into the cracked mirror, you see different pieces of what should be both of yours and Thea's faces. But what looks back at you are pieces of another face. And you get a guilty shock of cold, like you just got caught doing something really bad. and you see red and black and yellow bloodshot jaundiced eyes intensely focused right back at your gaze and out of the peripheral vision in the shattered mirror you see jagged teeth and this smile that cracks around the curvature of this circular wound and you can't help but to tear your eyes away and look the other way.
Cap:
[28:57] Son of a bitch.
Crit:
[28:58] Fuck.
Cap:
[29:00] Asher, are you all right?
Crit:
[29:04] That, yeah, I, that.
Dylan:
[29:07] What is it? What did you see?
Crit:
[29:08] I saw his face, the face from that storm we were in.
Cap:
[29:13] A smiler?
Crit:
[29:14] That awful feeling, like I'd done something terrible, like, ugh.
Dylan:
[29:20] Like when you got caught that way.
Crit:
[29:21] It was just like being back at the orphanage. Aster says chills.
Dylan:
[29:33] When Aster says that face, a chill runs through the room. And it seems everybody feels it. And when you look down at Carmilla, you see that she has tears in her eyes. And she looks very worried. After urging you, Asterisk, what did you see, what did you see, it seemed that you confirmed her fear. She saw it too. Carmilla takes a deep breath. And she says, I will be returning to the ribbon, but not with you. And I have to do it the hard way.
Cap:
[30:12] What do you mean?
Dylan:
[30:14] There are ways for the Lustmother's daughters to get home, but it requires sacrifice. And I do believe that I have something that I need to sacrifice. And she looks down at her leg.
Cap:
[30:29] Oh.
Dylan:
[30:30] Miss Lisa bites her fist and looks away, and Jerry looks down and shakes her head. Jerry kneels next to Carmilla. And says, would you like me to do it? And Jerry looks up at Asterisk. Would you?
Crit:
[30:52] I think I should do it.
Dylan:
[30:55] Carmilla nods. She says, I'll make preparations. Come back in one hour. And she goes into her quarters. She just opens the door and closes it. And then you hear it lock like 10 times. Jerry shakes her head and she's like she had a key.
Crit:
[31:18] Yeah son of a bitch.
Dylan:
[31:30] So right as uh the doors lock you hear the bell start ringing for breakfast, it's the uh soft cowbell welcoming you um miss lisa says come on come on pups, let's get up let's get our strength we need to eat i know this is hard we've been through a hard time but let's march one foot in front of the other okay i'll be right behind you all right jerry lead the way all right jerry's gonna take the front all right and so i love miss.
Cap:
[32:06] Lisa so much i feel so taken care of yeah.
Crit:
[32:10] For real that's.
Cap:
[32:12] Really nice so fucking safe with miss lisa yeah and fucking jerry like i just i feel so safe with that for real i think asterix feels like safe.
Crit:
[32:25] Enough to kind of stay in her own head a little bit like i think she's gonna be a little quiet.
Cap:
[32:31] It's like is this what a mom is, not in a horny way in a really.
Dylan:
[32:40] Depressing way.
Crit:
[32:41] Not in the mother whip your ass way but the yeah what shit.
Dylan:
[32:50] All right, Ms. Lisa and Jerry take you from your sleeping quarters out into the mess area. And everybody seems to be filing in. You know, people are waking up. Some people seem like they're already, they've been going for hours. But there's a bit of a calm over the room that, you know, it seems that there are a lot of really sad people. A lot of people died yesterday. day jerry leads you up to a uh table that just has room for the uh four of you and um seats you and it's like uh i'll get some refreshments miss lisa says and you know she like shoots jerry a glare and jerry nods and uh it seems like she's like keep an eye on him you know thank.
Cap:
[33:37] You miss Ms. Lisa?
Dylan:
[33:40] Oh, it's a sad day, pups.
Cap:
[33:42] Yeah.
Crit:
[33:43] If only I could have done more.
Dylan:
[33:45] You helped a lot, both of you. Invaluable.
Cap:
[33:49] It's still awful.
Crit:
[33:50] It's not fair. They come to your home and destroy your walls and hurt your people. It's not right. It's not right what they've been doing.
Dylan:
[34:00] They got that right. Right. And Miss Lisa comes walking up, and she's carrying glasses for everybody. There's water and milk, and she sits down and takes in the vibe of the table, and she's like, now I know we had a really hard time yesterday, and, you know, girls, I hate to say it, but we lost a lot of good cows yesterday, and we're still trying to figure out just how many we lost, including the bulls.
Cap:
[34:31] I'm so sorry, Ms. Lisa.
Crit:
[34:33] God.
Dylan:
[34:34] It was the initial waves that came in. It was the brave bulls on the front line who were there to meet them and delayed them for long enough for you guys to go out there and finish them off. You have my gratitude. Miss Lisa sniffs and wipes away a tear. And another bull comes by and has a large platter and sets down some plates for you two and some plates for Jerry and Lisa. It seems like Jerry and Lisa are eating grasses and mushrooms and different plants, stuff like that. And if you're looking around, you see people are pretty much eating the same thing. They are served an extra bowl with their dish. You weren't served an extra bowl, so you're not sure what their habits are or anything like that. But what you got, what looks to be kind of like a half a loaf of bread, but it's as if the inside of the bread was made with like a chewy spinach or something. So it's like a spinach loaf or something.
Cap:
[35:43] That sounds great.
Dylan:
[35:45] Yeah, it looks pleasing. It has a great texture. It's crispy on the outside. It's hot and looks chewy.
Cap:
[35:53] It's so sweet that they thought of us. We have special breakfast.
Dylan:
[35:56] Now, we know that you do have special diets, and we don't have too many ingredients on hand that you guys can eat, but we made sure that we have something just in case.
Cap:
[36:07] Oh, this is more than— Heat up.
Dylan:
[36:08] We know it's good for you. It's a formula specifically designed for humans and humanoids, you know, from up top.
Crit:
[36:17] Wow, thank you.
Cap:
[36:18] Thank you.
Crit:
[36:20] So generous and hospitable.
Dylan:
[36:22] Yeah, it's like bread. It's kind of what you hoped it would be, but more basil-y, I guess, than spinach-y.
Cap:
[36:30] I imagine like a breakfast Hot Pocket, but like bigger and longer.
Crit:
[36:34] Pesto.
Dylan:
[36:34] Yeah, it's like a big, airy kind of bread that's really soft and stretchy and herbs inside of it and everything.
Cap:
[36:44] Sounds good as hell.
Crit:
[36:45] Yeah. I want one.
Dylan:
[36:46] It's good. It's very filling. You do notice what the bowls are for after a time. Both Jerry and Miss Lisa and everybody else in here, they start coughing up some of their food into the bowl.
Cap:
[37:01] Fucking knew it.
Dylan:
[37:03] And you know it seems like they're doing it with as much grace and with as much table manners as one could but yeah you're like oh okay cow makes sense makes sense you know it doesn't smell you know and after a few minutes you get used to it just part of the background yeah nice.
Crit:
[37:20] I feel kind of weird that i'm not doing it.
Dylan:
[37:25] Yeah, so after you guys eat for a little while, Miss Lisa speaks up again. And she said, I'm, you know, I'm going to make an announcement later on today, but I'll let you girls know. Because of the heavy numbers that we lost, we're going to have to start an emergency breeding program. So I know you wanted to see the milking chambers, but we're going to have to make use of the bulls in a different way and see who's eligible, who's available. available and uh you know if you're still curious uh you're you're more than welcome i'm.
Crit:
[37:55] Not eligible i'm sorry no thank you.
Dylan:
[37:59] Oh no of course not you wouldn't be able to um bear a child that's yeah that's what i'm saying exactly yeah yeah exactly you know if you could you'd i bet you'd be great stock jerry smiles and nods thank.
Cap:
[38:15] You it's true you would be.
Dylan:
[38:17] Yeah.
Crit:
[38:18] That's very kind.
Dylan:
[38:18] Everybody's smiling and nodding. So I'm going to go through my schedule here and we have to make some arrangements. There might be at least one more milking on the docket. These guys have been on the waiting list for a while. Yeah. So after we finish up here, we'll move you right back over to your apartments where you can hang out if you want to go and, you know, check out the market or something like that. maybe you know get some get some nice to wear, shopping you know I'm sure they would love to meet you you know talk with you you know you're out there fighting for us and we all know that and appreciate it and so she's saying all this and kind of like wrapping up she's taking your plates and like and everybody's standing up and just going with her and getting into a line, she's like yeah you know what I'm again I can't say how much we appreciate what you've done for us.
Cap:
[39:12] I wish we could have done more.
Dylan:
[39:14] She grabs your shoulder and just, you know, very, not in a way that was painful, but very strong. She grabs your shoulder and just, you know, she means it with earnest, you know, and she sniffs again. And she's like, all right, let's march, kid.
Crit:
[39:30] God, I love her.
Cap:
[39:31] I love her so much. Yes, Miss Lisa.
Dylan:
[39:35] Yeah. And so, yeah, you guys get back to your apartments. So if you guys want to change, you know, get your bags together. other so if you want to go to the market and get some doodads and trinkets and stuff yeah.
Crit:
[39:47] Can we check.
Cap:
[39:48] On is carmelo okay when are we doing her leg.
Crit:
[39:51] Yeah um i don't i'm not really in the mood to shop before major surgery.
Dylan:
[39:56] Jerry uh jerry jerry looks over her shoulder and she's like i told you it wouldn't work it's like yeah i know all right look i'm trying to talk you out of doing this This whole thing, maybe I could have distracted you. Look, honey, I just don't want to have you do this. It's not, I know you can handle it. I'm just giving you an out if you need it.
Crit:
[40:19] It'll be okay. I think.
Dylan:
[40:21] She grabs your shoulder. What? Very earnestly grabs your shoulder.
Crit:
[40:26] I think I was meant to do this. I know that's going to sound weird.
Dylan:
[40:30] No, it doesn't. She gives you, like, a really soft, like, knuckles to the chin. And she's like, you're doing the right thing.
Crit:
[40:39] I throw my chin to the side like she punched me, you know? Like, thank you. That means a lot.
Dylan:
[40:45] Yeah, you guys get back to the...
Crit:
[40:49] Is that the right... Is that what you're supposed to do when that happens?
Dylan:
[40:52] Yeah, it's all shucks. It's fine.
Cap:
[40:54] Yeah, the all shucks of it all.
Crit:
[40:56] Okay, yeah. It's like you hit me. I'm like, aw. Like, aw.
Cap:
[41:00] Yeah, no, I see.
Crit:
[41:01] I got you. I got you. I think.
Dylan:
[41:04] Yeah so you get back to the apartment and um jerry uh says she was going to be right back and uh the door unlocks in all the locks unlock in succession on carmilla's door and it swings open slowly and she's sitting in the middle of a strange design on the floor um this looks no more than a cell. This is for prisoners. There's no bed. There's no bucket. She probably didn't need it. It doesn't look disgusting, but it's basically just a hole in the wall with a metal door. But within, you see on the ground where she's sitting in the middle of a very elaborate, strange geometric design. There are candles lit. There's salt. There are ashes. There are different herbs and things that you can't quite recognize scattered around and put in different places on this geometric pattern. Carmela looks up as you guys approach. All the preparations are nearly complete. Miss Lisa bows her head and looks back up and she says, Jerry's on her way. She's going to bring the axe.
Crit:
[42:27] Axe. God.
Dylan:
[42:28] And yeah, after just a moment time.
Crit:
[42:31] I don't know. I was picturing like a giant really sharp scalpel, but I guess that's.
Dylan:
[42:35] A good axe.
Crit:
[42:41] That's crazy.
Dylan:
[42:42] And after a few moments, Jerry does return and she is carrying a headsman axe. So a very long, pulled, heavy-headed axe meant for chopping through in one swipe. Very broad head, so hard to miss.
Crit:
[42:59] So she's got the axe. Is Carmilla still locked up by herself?
Dylan:
[43:03] No, you're in her room now.
Crit:
[43:05] Okay, we've come in there.
Dylan:
[43:06] She's in the center of the circle, seated. seated and jerry just came in with the axe and she's i see i thought we were looking through.
Crit:
[43:14] Like prisoners bars for some need help with anything carmella.
Dylan:
[43:17] She smirks at you and just shakes her head um she reaches behind her and pulls out a wooden block and sets it up underneath her and then lies down with her hip her left hip up on it and lays back with one leg straight and one leg as far to the right as possible, giving way for Asterisk to have a clean target right on her thigh. She says, Now, I don't mean to state the obvious, but please don't miss and aim for above the injury.
Crit:
[43:53] Understood.
Dylan:
[43:54] And she lays back. And in this position, her hips are pressed upward and her hair is rolling back. And she puts her hands above her head and her eyes roll back and she closes her eyes and she starts to hum something. Maybe a chant under her breath.
Crit:
[44:13] So I want to engage my armor before doing this. We're going to cut the montage because this is a moment.
Dylan:
[44:23] Yeah you know you don't have to do the full sailor moon thing.
Crit:
[44:26] Inappropriate yeah read the room um but i want to do this as the champion of litlith because she's making a sacrifice it's a big deal yeah and then i'll take the axe and then i want to look her in the eye as.
Dylan:
[44:41] Jerry hands you the axe your armor starts to activate.
Crit:
[44:45] And as.
Dylan:
[44:47] You get into position your armor finishes, you can hear Carmilla chanting under her breath. And as she continues to chant, she gets a bit louder. It's in a language you don't understand, but it is comforting in a way. It sounds like she's calling home. And she repeats herself and opens her eyes and looks And it looks like as she's repeating, she's giving you the go-ahead to strike whenever you're ready.
Crit:
[45:21] Great.
Cap:
[45:22] I'll touch your shoulder, and I will give you a bardic inspiration. I go, one swing, one cut.
Crit:
[45:28] No pressure.
Dylan:
[45:30] All right. Let's see that to hit. All right. and.
Cap:
[45:38] Then plus a d6 with the inspiration okay.
Crit:
[45:42] Roll them all at the same time nice yeah uh so 24 that.
Dylan:
[45:47] Hits yay just just yeah it's a good thing she didn't have a shield dodging yeah, um as you stand solemnly over her and raise the axe up above your head the candle flames Flames rise with the axe, and as you swing down, you hit perfectly square, exactly where you intend, a few inches above the injury and any of what looks like damaged tissue, cleanly taking her leg off in one swipe straight into the earth beneath. and the flames reach a height of six feet as the blade cuts through the leg and they go out in an instant, almost covering the room in darkness. And it's like you blinked, even though you didn't because you were making eye contact with her the whole time. But when you opened your eyes, she was gone.
Crit:
[46:49] I'm sorry, I was looking at where I was going to put that axe.
Dylan:
[46:53] Oh yeah, you weren't staring her in the eye the whole time No, you gave her the old like 8 ball corner pocket stare at the opponent That's.
Crit:
[47:01] Deeply fucked up That's what a 24 gets you.
Dylan:
[47:06] Okay, let me rephrase.
Crit:
[47:08] No, it's okay.
Cap:
[47:09] No, I love that.
Dylan:
[47:12] So you hear the cut and clink of flesh and then silence, and you hear the leg drop, and the light starts to normalize back in the room from the torches outside, and you see that Carmilla's gone. The leg remains.
Cap:
[47:31] Oh, I'm going to miss her.
Crit:
[47:34] Seems good.
Cap:
[47:35] Seems like it worked.
Dylan:
[47:37] Right um yeah jerry uh is like i guess so she's not here, what do we do with the leg and um keep.
Crit:
[47:48] It as a memento and.
Dylan:
[47:50] Miss lisa obviously.
Cap:
[47:51] We burn it.
Dylan:
[47:54] Miss lisa looks over at the end it's like i was thinking something like that it's a it's a cursed item though i don't really know oh nobody pick it up don't equip it it's It's not something anybody wants around.
Cap:
[48:09] Yeah, no.
Dylan:
[48:11] And I don't want to give it to somebody else to try to destroy. Right.
Cap:
[48:17] Are there any lava veins around?
Dylan:
[48:19] Oh, no. We don't build it near any of those. That's way too dangerous. Go talk to those dragon folk if you want to get near the lava.
Cap:
[48:27] Dragon folk?
Dylan:
[48:27] Oh, yeah. That's where they've been holding up lately. Too hot for the Covenant to get near. Too deep. Nobody else goes. There's, well, nobody they can't deal with.
Cap:
[48:37] Whereabouts? I'm looking for a dragon man.
Dylan:
[48:41] Well, I would say probably the nearest one's going to be in the Midlands over at the prominence there. That mountain range is volcanic. Problem is you're going to be passing by, you know, the capital of the Covenant there.
Cap:
[48:58] The capital of the Covenant?
Dylan:
[49:00] Yeah, it's... It's relatively new, but it's called Utopia.
Cap:
[49:07] Utopia. I fucking bet.
Dylan:
[49:10] Yeah, it was built on the backs of some of our kind, some other kind too. During the Purge, they rounded them up and used them all for work before they were done with them.
Cap:
[49:20] Okay. Great.
Crit:
[49:23] Well, I think...
Dylan:
[49:24] Do you have any way of being topside and not being identified?
Cap:
[49:30] Just as of recently. Yes.
Dylan:
[49:33] Really? That's fantastic.
Cap:
[49:35] Yeah. And here, I'll turn myself into Astris real quick.
Crit:
[49:40] What?
Dylan:
[49:41] Yeah, everybody kind of jumps back.
Crit:
[49:43] The fuck?
Dylan:
[49:45] Jerry kind of hisses for a second and Miss Lisa looks at her like, you know, don't be rude.
Cap:
[49:53] And then I turn back to me.
Dylan:
[49:54] And Jerry's like, I knew that they could do... And Miss Lisa looks at her again. And no, that's very impressive. I'm sure that's a very special skill you had to learn and not all of you were born that way.
Cap:
[50:10] I want her to be proud of me and I'm not going to tell her that it's from taking dick.
Crit:
[50:18] You know, they have a proud culture of doing stuff with dicks here.
Cap:
[50:24] Don't be ashamed. Dick forward culture.
Dylan:
[50:26] Well, you also, you're a tiefling, you get it. There's a lot of stereotypes. And whenever you do something like, you know, swap your face with somebody else, you're like, there it is. There it is.
Cap:
[50:39] I told you, they do that.
Dylan:
[50:41] Yeah, that's why. That was that little exchange where you saw Jerry and like, don't, don't even.
Cap:
[50:48] Oh, God. Astros, you're the first thing I've turned into.
Crit:
[50:52] Oh, I'm flattered.
Cap:
[50:54] You should be. how so you do you see how hot you are now i turn back into you um i turn back into you but just in the but just in the chastity oh my oh, are you.
Crit:
[51:13] Allowed to change your clothes.
Cap:
[51:14] I just flashed you your butt she's.
Crit:
[51:17] Mooning me with myself.
Dylan:
[51:20] Uh miss lisa's like all right okay all right now.
Crit:
[51:26] That's quite enough you've embarrassed her enough put my clothes back on my butt.
Cap:
[51:36] I do oh god but you can hit me twice i.
Crit:
[51:42] Do i spank you twice oh spend my action surge to do it you.
Dylan:
[51:50] Know how long days are in this game.
Crit:
[51:53] Yeah i know we're not gonna get another short rest for six sessions that's right okay i didn't i didn't do that i just i did it and i waited six seconds and then i did it again so.
Dylan:
[52:05] As far as the the leg goes.
Crit:
[52:08] Yeah so i was thinking i could um take a cloth and wrap it up and god it's a whole leg knee and foot and everything um it's burn it kind of really cool i think we got to take it to the lava caves right and throw it in the lava oh we want.
Cap:
[52:27] To travel with this thing.
Crit:
[52:28] Right this thing.
Cap:
[52:29] Might be a contaminant i don't know i.
Crit:
[52:31] Know i don't think we can leave it here with these innocent people i.
Cap:
[52:35] Don't know if it's ethical to take it out and spread it around though, either.
Dylan:
[52:40] Hold on. Uh, before you get that far, you, you're like, well, we should probably take it with us. And you grab like a sheet. And as you approach it, you start to see yourself in the reflection, just like the nothing. You just start to see the movement of yourself as you approach. Yeah.
Crit:
[52:57] I don't like that.
Dylan:
[52:58] And you're, you're remembering what you saw. I don't like that. And you're having a hard time getting closer. Your, your stomach knots up and you start to, sweat and um you do it.
Cap:
[53:09] All right i'll go do it i'm not afraid of her leg because thea just likes looking at herself that's right she's not afraid because it's just showing her i like it pretty bird all.
Dylan:
[53:29] Right yeah so um are you gonna look in the mirror when you're wrapping it up.
Cap:
[53:33] I mean can you help not on purpose but can you help i think it just happens yeah.
Dylan:
[53:39] All right yeah it's a shattered mirror so it's hard not to see all the.
Cap:
[53:42] Scattered reflections.
Dylan:
[53:44] Of yourself roll a will save.
Cap:
[53:46] Oh fun oh my, Natural 20.
Dylan:
[53:51] All right. This time, when you approached it and you knelt down next to it with the cloth, you looked over into the mirror and your own eye, you look normal in all the scattered pieces, but your eye looked weird for a flash of a second. it looked maybe yellow and bloodshot and scary and a lot wider and weird looking for just a second and there was a shock of cold that you felt a little bit in your gut but it passed just as quickly as the vision but it was pretty freaky so you're like yuck major ick but you know that like you shrugged something off you know like that was gross um something just really tried to reach out to you because you weren't really looking at it and it wanted to get your attention oh.
Cap:
[54:50] It tried to touch me.
Dylan:
[54:51] Yeah and it was yeah doing the ew gross it was.
Cap:
[54:57] In the bag i'm like i'm holding it and i can't hold the fucking leg out.
Dylan:
[55:00] That's strong it's like 30 pounds right like somebody get that you're like dragging it across the floor is.
Crit:
[55:08] It is it covered up yes okay i can get it.
Dylan:
[55:14] Yeah you walk over and um thea and all of her attendants are just trying to walk backwards dragging it futilely across the floor and you're like we look good doing it yeah yeah you're like all right yeah uh you could really give them all just like one 11 ass cheek slap if In a line, if you really had it perfect. But imagine you walk right up and pick up the sack and throw it over your shoulder.
Crit:
[55:39] Yeah, I mean, I'm supposed to take what Lilith wants. So I think I would do that.
Dylan:
[55:45] Oh, yeah.
Crit:
[55:45] Yeah.
Dylan:
[55:46] So, like, the finger to get, like, the ones on...
Crit:
[55:51] Yeah.
Dylan:
[55:51] And then hand and then finger on the other ones.
Crit:
[55:54] Oh, yeah, perfect, exactly.
Dylan:
[55:55] Because they're all...
Cap:
[55:56] It's like a xylophone of ass slaps.
Crit:
[55:58] Yes. Yep.
Dylan:
[55:59] And all the tenant's hips bump into each other, too. And they all get a little frazzled. And they're like, whoa. And they all start laughing and giggling. And then they hide behind Thea.
Cap:
[56:13] Oh, Asterisk, you are cheeky today.
Crit:
[56:18] Cheeky.
Dylan:
[56:21] Yeah, and then you pick up the sack with the leg in it.
Cap:
[56:26] Like it's nothing. What the hell? That thing weighs a ton.
Crit:
[56:29] It weighs a leg.
Cap:
[56:34] You know i walked right into that one you got me there.
Dylan:
[56:37] You got me definitely walked right into that one.
Crit:
[56:40] Walked right into that one with my leg see uh.
Dylan:
[56:44] Yeah so miss lisa and jerry are very appreciative yet again for what you've done and taking this thing off their hands it's really something so So Miss Lisa asks you to stay there for a little bit, and she's going to come back, and she's got a surprise for everyone.
Cap:
[57:06] I will do literally anything Miss Lisa says at this point.
Dylan:
[57:10] So, yeah, she's like, you girls just sit back, relax, okay? I know you've had a very stressful few days. And she ticks off and leaves you guys to ponder next steps, ponder what just happened this morning, the last day. And Miss Lisa comes back without Jerry. Jerry and Miss Lisa had both left. But this time Miss Lisa comes back and she has a box. And she's like, glad to see you both here. I got a little worried. Not going to lie. But, you know, I can't help but worry about you two. Gather around. Sit around this table here. And she sets the box down. and uh she opens it up and she's um she's like i i just want to make sure that you guys have something for your journey i know it's going to be dangerous and um you know we can't really offer too much because we're more on the the refinement side of things rather than the manufacturing but i do know a few people and uh here i wanted to give you these potions And so she slides the box across, and I'll tell you what all the potions are.
Cap:
[58:27] Cool.
Dylan:
[58:27] Later. Miss Lisa. But she goes, and, well, there's one more group going through the milking chamber if you guys would like to join.
Cap:
[58:38] I don't think we could leave without it.
Dylan:
[58:42] Atta girl. And you guys get up and start heading out. And Miss Lisa's walking right next to you, Thea. And you're walking down some different hallways that are going a little bit deeper. It seems like it goes down and then curls around and goes, it's like a layer underneath of where you already were. And it kind of seems to wrap around like that, going a bit deeper. And Miss Lisa looks down and smiles at you kind of coyly, Thea. And she's like, you know, you made a real friend on the battlefield the other day.
Cap:
[59:16] Is he all right?
Dylan:
[59:17] Oh, yeah. He's doing great now.
Cap:
[59:21] Good. I felt bad. I brought more of that ceiling down on him than I meant to.
Dylan:
[59:26] Yeah. Well, you know, you, you did the right thing and, you know, everyone survived and I think he would do it again a hundred times out of 10, even if he died. He's like, so, you know, if he, he'd like to meet with you maybe after the tour and she, uh, she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a potion and she winks at you and hands it to you.
Cap:
[59:56] Yes, Theo just sort of grins and goes I have no idea what you're talking about and takes it and puts it in her pocket, Miss.
Dylan:
[1:00:10] Lisa grins, and as you guys keep walking you start to realize that the your footfalls aren't the only thing that you hear in fact you hear You're kind of a pounding, a rhythmic pounding. And it's just like, and you're getting closer and closer. And it feels like it's the walls are shaking.
Cap:
[1:00:39] Oh, God.
Dylan:
[1:00:41] You know, everything's vibrating. And you can hear this guttural, deep, deep voices all saying in unison, milk, milk, milk, milk.
Cap:
[1:00:57] As the walls tremble.
Dylan:
[1:00:59] Pounding, dust falling from the ceiling. You reach a door, a heavy iron door, where Miss Lisa unlatches it. There's also a guard out there, a cow, one of the village guards guarding, and she nods solemnly to Miss Lisa. Miss Lisa nods back and opens up the big iron door, and with a huge creak, it opens outward. Before you is what looks like an arena, you know but instead of rows and rows of crowds or anything what you have is this circular area and a dome and the dome is you know maybe 12 feet at its highest and you're the pounding of the milk milk milk is almost deafening and miss lisa uh gives you these these things that she says to to put on your head and it goes over your ears and it makes it way more bearable and it's these fluffy it's like fur pods that she puts over your ears and it just kills the noise and she puts them on each of you and so now you know you can hear yourself think you know pounding is still ever present but i.
Cap:
[1:02:20] Pinch astris's cheek because she looks so cute oh.
Dylan:
[1:02:24] Well you notice here in this In this domed area where there must be bulls surrounding you on all sides. The iron door closes.
Dylan:
[1:02:35] Miss Lisa says as loud as she can right next to you. And she says, now, usually we have a whole lot of harvesters that are in here. And we're going to have them come in. But I wanted to just show you what it's like before any of them have had a drop squeezed from them. Okay? and just over the milk milk and uh like they're they're very rowdy and we have to keep a protective barrier between us and them at least the first round okay and uh so i want to uh introduce you and she starts uh walking around and opening up flaps on the wall where a hole is open and a giant Huge cock just gets pushed through And it's throbbing And you hear Milk, milk, milk And she's like And these are the boys We're going to be taking care of today This is Ruts and Swift Deep Rock Pound Spot Force Strong Geyser Unger Girth Milk And honestly ladies, my favorite, Bicep And she opens that one up And.
Dylan:
[1:03:55] She makes a signal to uh the guard who opens up the gate and you see um a bunch of very very strong strapping looking cows who are like ones who can wrangle some bulls if they need to they come in and they've got um they've got bowls and they've got jars and different kind of like devices and cylinders and stuff and the other bags and little stools that they whip out and then they sit down and they get to work on each of these in the chamber.
Crit:
[1:04:30] What does that mean? Well, Miss Lisa She's doing it?
Dylan:
[1:04:40] Miss Lisa says, she's with you, giving you the tour and you're You're hearing the milk, but it's less of a chant now. They're all just, you know, like, they're all saying milk. Just, they're at a desperate fever pitch. And they haven't actually started yet. You know, they're like, they're putting their long gloves on. They're getting the lotion ready. Oh, God.
Crit:
[1:05:03] Can't stand it.
Dylan:
[1:05:04] And Miss Lisa's like, oh, yeah, they can tell what's going on over there. They can smell us. They know, you know, they're going crazy. crazy and uh it's like in each each uh each one harvest has their own method again when i said it's it's more about intent and um you know we don't have a full range of what we can do here with our bulls under these circumstances but you know if if you if you get them going and you get them going real quick and done real fast that's uh that's gonna affect your magical output you know So, sometimes that can take the form of regeneration in healing potions, things like that. Mostly, we don't cover that end, but we use them from everything from healing potions to growth potions to all kinds of, you know.
Crit:
[1:05:56] Oh, fascinating. So, you use it on the healing potions that you've been giving us?
Dylan:
[1:06:02] Oh, yeah, only the finest.
Crit:
[1:06:03] Oh.
Dylan:
[1:06:05] And yeah. great they're.
Crit:
[1:06:06] Great they work great.
Dylan:
[1:06:07] They uh they were really great because the potions that you had you generally like oh this is like a cure light wounds potion i know that because that's the name of it and you know that it only heals you for 1d8 damage this one did 2d8 i don't know if i need to even include that it's supposed to be an extra it's supposed to be like a strong Strong-ass potion.
Cap:
[1:06:30] Fuck yeah.
Crit:
[1:06:31] I see.
Cap:
[1:06:32] Supercharged.
Dylan:
[1:06:32] It's hard to intuit.
Cap:
[1:06:33] From milk.
Crit:
[1:06:34] But it was different. You could tell because I did. Yeah, I see.
Cap:
[1:06:38] Because of the milk.
Crit:
[1:06:39] Oh.
Dylan:
[1:06:40] As you guys are watching them get to work, some of them are using a whole lot of lotion and their hands. Some of them are using cylindrical devices filled with some sort of goop. It has like a catch tray. They all have their own varying catch trays. And it's quite intense.
Dylan:
[1:07:01] It doesn't just kind of start. it just gets more and more crazy as they're uh as they're being attended to in the room though uh thea you feel this rising of magical energy standing in the center of this room nice you're like i can taste the magic in the air here and it's like this potential craziness that's going And you're in this vortex of this quintessence and you're feeling empowered. You feel like if you could somehow make this tangible, you know, or if you could somehow harness this kind of vortex of energy, because you don't think Miss Lisa notices this and Asterix doesn't notice it the way you do. Astrius, you feel a warmth, like that growing eroticism and eros and everything growing from your armor and your chastity belt. And within, and it seems like this you Lilith pleasure symbiosis.
Dylan:
[1:08:12] Whereas the potential energy, the potential magical energy in the air here is channeling through Thea in a way.
Cap:
[1:08:21] So what I want to try to do is see if I can sort of play what it feels like. See if that works.
Dylan:
[1:08:32] I would roll a performance, but give yourself advantage.
Cap:
[1:08:38] Cool. Fantastic. 18.
Dylan:
[1:08:43] All right. Right. This swirling vortex that you're trying to catch a melody or something to seems a bit chaotic, like a windstorm. And until you hear the cacophonous milk behind it, and as you start to play something, they start reacting to what you're playing in a way. And their coordination starts to begin again. more subdued but more involved and more intense and more uh direct and it seems like the attention is now going to you whether they know it or not everybody looks at me that's right i'm.
Crit:
[1:09:35] Come at me, bros. Hey.
Dylan:
[1:09:44] Your fingers glide along the strings, nearly caressing them as you've got your eyes closed, nodding your head back and forth, just feeling this magical energy flow through you. you are now dictating this flow of the energy as you play because you are now dictating the mood of the bulls oh.
Cap:
[1:10:09] This is a lot of power.
Dylan:
[1:10:09] And the cows who are milking are kind of looking around just like you know at first they heard the music and they're like oh that's nice but they noticed that all the bulls started you know they were they're still intense but they're not as wild and rampage-y. And, you know, and they're more like, It seems like no matter what the harvesters are doing, you're in control of their passion.
Cap:
[1:10:37] Wow.
Dylan:
[1:10:38] And if you so decided, it could have them all come at the same time.
Cap:
[1:10:43] All right, she's going to edge them a few times.
Dylan:
[1:10:46] Oh, yeah, all right.
Cap:
[1:10:47] She's going to sort of build it up to almost...
Dylan:
[1:10:49] So six hours later...
Cap:
[1:10:51] No, okay, not that. long just just like at least once.
Dylan:
[1:10:56] At least once yeah you bring them a um a melody that rises and nearly climaxes but um starts over and has them all frustrated in the best way and you feel that it had an effect like an added effect on the power in the room as it may have dropped it all back down, but the base amount is higher.
Cap:
[1:11:22] Charging the crystal.
Dylan:
[1:11:23] That's right. Fill in the balls. And Asteris, you're in tune with Thea enough, just personally, just as a friend, that you're like, okay, you're starting to see what's going on and you're like, oh my God, this is crazy. The magic coming from her now, you're starting to feel that as well, like your connection as she starts to connect her magic to the magic in the room um you are now connecting with her i'm getting milked everyone's milking everyone's.
Crit:
[1:11:59] Milking who's milking me somebody milk me.
Dylan:
[1:12:05] It's the 60 circle nine we've.
Cap:
[1:12:07] Got some experts downstairs stairs.
Dylan:
[1:12:11] Astris, you are you look over at Miss Lisa and she just looks in awe of what's going on. Just so surprised and shocked, um you know eyes wide about what's going on and you can tell she's doing a lot of mental math oh.
Crit:
[1:12:32] Yeah the implications.
Dylan:
[1:12:33] Right and so uh thea whenever you feel like releasing these poor bulls from their torment we.
Cap:
[1:12:42] Shall do that.
Dylan:
[1:12:43] All right all together now dun dun dun dun and so So you cause a collective orgasm that, of course, is intense on many levels, the magical level, the vibe and everything like that, but also very loud. It's very physically jarring as the whole room shakes again. You forgot there's this tremendous amount of force behind these, and it seems like they are all pounding and climaxing at the same time. Damn. And thrilling, to say the least. And after what seems like a very long time climaxing, longer than you even expect, you're like, oh, oh.
Crit:
[1:13:34] Oh.
Dylan:
[1:13:36] Oh, wow.
Crit:
[1:13:38] They brought more bulls.
Cap:
[1:13:40] Oh, wow, they're changing catchers.
Dylan:
[1:13:43] Oh, wow. yeah kind of like that swapping yeah and then each one gets uh properly uh squeezed and squeegeed off and uh they back out of their um milking ports the uh milkers are all doing math they're making notes and they're looking at their volumes and they're all just like looking at each other like like, oh crap, you know, like what a good day, man, you know.
Cap:
[1:14:12] Is that not the normal amount?
Dylan:
[1:14:15] Oh no, we're getting bonuses this quarter. Oh, and yeah, they're, they're packing up their stuff. Miss Lisa goes over to one and like takes a sample from, and she comes back over and she's like, Thea, you've done it again. I, I can't wait to hear the numbers of this one, but oh man, that looks like at least a 30% on each. Oh man. Wow. We need to hire bards is what we need to do.
Cap:
[1:14:50] Again, a lot of things are easier when you've got a beat.
Dylan:
[1:14:54] Who knew? And I didn't realize that they would appreciate it so much, you know, and it makes me regret not thinking of it sooner. Yeah, and I'm sure they appreciate it as well.
Cap:
[1:15:06] It was wild to say the least.
Dylan:
[1:15:09] Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. And you know what? But here, one for the road, and she gives you the sample.
Cap:
[1:15:16] Oh, why, thank you.
Crit:
[1:15:18] Still hot.
Dylan:
[1:15:20] Miss Lisa turns to Asterix, and she says, Now, I don't want to seem rude or anything, but I didn't see you hitting it off with anybody.
Crit:
[1:15:31] How do you mean?
Dylan:
[1:15:33] Well, you see, I'm saying she takes you by the shoulder and sort of walks away and looks over her shoulder at Thea, and she's like...
Cap:
[1:15:39] I politely do not listen.
Dylan:
[1:15:42] Thea's got a little bit of a date later, and I don't want to leave you in the lurch. So we can either find something to do, it'll be fun, or maybe I can find someone for you to hang out with on your own.
Crit:
[1:15:57] I really appreciate that, Miss Lisa. I think, I.
Cap:
[1:16:01] Wish I was eavesdropping.
Crit:
[1:16:03] I'm really happy for Thea, but after the events today, and what I had to do. I think I might just like to do something fun.
Dylan:
[1:16:14] Yeah? Yeah. Good. All right. Well, why don't you...
Crit:
[1:16:19] You know how to play checkers?
Dylan:
[1:16:21] I don't.
Crit:
[1:16:22] Me neither. What's that?
Cap:
[1:16:24] What is that?
Crit:
[1:16:25] I don't know.
Dylan:
[1:16:27] Is that a trademark thing?
Crit:
[1:16:31] Do you know how to play... It's a topside game. Yeah. Yeah, what's the... Dragons and daggers? Shoots and dragons?
Cap:
[1:16:41] Shoots and dragons.
Crit:
[1:16:42] Yeah. I'm sorry.
Dylan:
[1:16:43] Oh, chalkers. uh miss lisa uh says all right well i'll take you on tour seem to like you enjoyed that and we'll try to keep you from having to dismember anybody anymore um why don't you go drop that leg off back at the apartments i'll walk you over to the door and maybe.
Crit:
[1:17:05] We should lock it up keep it safe.
Dylan:
[1:17:07] That's a good idea here she'll walk in and uh toss the the bag in and she'll Don't toss it.
Crit:
[1:17:15] Be gentle. With somebody's leg.
Cap:
[1:17:21] So precious.
Crit:
[1:17:23] It scares me, sweetheart. I can't help it. I'm sorry.
Dylan:
[1:17:27] I didn't see what you saw, but it scares me.
Crit:
[1:17:30] Yeah, me too. Scares the shit out of me. I don't want anyone else to see it.
Dylan:
[1:17:34] She locks it up and she says, All right, come to me when you need to get this. I'm going to run to my office. this you freshen up and uh we'll we'll get back to it thanks.
Crit:
[1:17:47] Miss lisa no.
Dylan:
[1:17:48] Problem uh thea uh miss lisa comes back out and she's like no ma'am thea would you like to meet jack's thick vigor why.
Cap:
[1:17:59] I would love to.
Dylan:
[1:18:00] The bull you saved yeah.
Cap:
[1:18:03] He was a sweetie.
Dylan:
[1:18:04] She smiles and walks with you out as you you guys start entering what looks like the, uh, apartment areas of the Minotaur over there, uh, she goes, he's right through here and he's very respectful man. Okay. Now that potion I gave you, you're going to need it.
Cap:
[1:18:25] What is it?
Dylan:
[1:18:27] It's our finest potion of endurance and enlarge.
Cap:
[1:18:32] Oh, I get to be big.
Dylan:
[1:18:34] Yes, baby. she squeezes your shoulder and kisses you on the cheek and then now you have fun I.
Cap:
[1:18:44] Think I actually will.
Dylan:
[1:18:47] Um that's so cool asterisk big, asterisk you are giant woman you are um back in the bedroom uh you walk back in there and you know take your gloves off. You don't need them. And as you throw the gloves onto the bed, you see King Floof sitting there. Like, she's gone.
Crit:
[1:19:17] Carmilla?
Dylan:
[1:19:17] Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. We need to talk.
Crit:
[1:19:21] Yeah, I think so.
Dylan:
[1:19:23] All right, and that's where I'm going to end it.
Crit:
[1:19:24] Fucking shit!
Cap:
[1:19:25] Oh, it's so good! So good!
Crit:
[1:19:29] I want Minotaur scene!
ReCap:
[1:19:33] OMG, King Floof is back I'm so excited to find out what dirt he's gonna give to Asterisk And holy shit, y'all Big Thea I'm so fucking stoked, We made it to the end of another episode, y'all Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for sticking with us on this journey You are the reason we keep going, And on that note Please be sure to rate and subscribe Follow our Instagram, See you in a fortnight, my beautiful people.